Post Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q. Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest stamps?
A. They had pictures of lawyers on them...
and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.

A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed,' Guess who?'" "But why?" asks the man. "I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.

1,222! 1 to change the light bulb and to post to the mail list that the light bulb has been changed;28 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and explain how the light bulb could have been changed differently;14 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs;149 to write to the list administrator about the light bulb discussion and its inappropriateness to this mail list;111 to post that this list is not about light bulbs and to please take this email exchange to litebulb-list;112 to defend the posting to this list saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this mail list;309 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty;26 to post URLs where one can see examples of different light bulbs;15 to post that the URLs were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URLs;4 to post about links they found from more...

The Big Horse Race Horses in the race are: 1. Passionate Lady2. Bare Belly3. Silk Panties4. Conscience5. Jockey Shorts6. Clean Sheets7. Thighs8. Big Johnson9. Heavy Bosum10. Merry CherryAt the Post: They're off! Conscience is left behind at the post. Jockey Shorts and Silk Panties are off in a hurry. Heavy Bosum is being pressured. Passionate lady is caught between Thighs and Big Johnson in a very tight spot. At the Halfway Mark it's Bare Belly on top. Thighs opens up and Big Johnson is pressed in. Heavy Bosum is being pushed hard against Clean Sheets. Passionate Lady and Thighs are working hard on Bare Belly. Bare Belly is under terrific pressure from Big Johnson. At The Stretch Merry Cherry cracks under the strain. Big Johnson is making a final drive. Passionate Lady is coming. At The Finish It's Big Johnson giving everything he's got and Passionate Lady takes everything Big Johnson has to offer. It looks like a dead heat but Big Johnson squirts through and wins by a head. Heavy more...

CNN and The Washington Post both ran headlines stating that President Elect Obama is not Black. Duh! He's African-American. When did it become more politically correct to say black? No one who's Black is black. They're brown, chocolate, mocha, or golden brown, but they're not really black.
The next President's father came from Kenya. That makes Obama' more African-American than Jessie Jackson.
Maybe The Washington Post should post an online reader poll: Do you think Obama is: (1) a honky, or (2) a negroid?

Now that wine making is becoming a popular hobby, I offer my secret recipe for "Post Office Red".
You simply mail yourself ten pounds of grapes in a container marked "Fragile".

Q: What do you get when you cross a French horn player with a goal post? A: A goal post that can't march. Q: How many French horn players does it take to change a light bulb? A: Just one, but he'll spend two hours checking the bulb for alignment and leaks. Q: What do you get when you cross a French Horn player and a goalpost? A: A goalpost that can't march. Q: How do you make a trombone sound like a French horn? A: Put your hand in the bell and miss a lot of notes. Q: How do horn players traditionally greet each other? A: "Hi. I did that piece in junior high."Q: How many French horn players does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Just one, but he'll spend two hours checking the bulb for alignment and leaks. Q: How do you get your viola section to sound like the horn section? A: Have them miss every other note. Q: What is the difference between a french horn section and a' 57 Chevy? A: You can tune a' 57 Chevy. Q: How do horn players traditionally greet each other? A: more...