Pots Jokes

A guy wins the lottery and decides to buy himself a Harley Davidson. He goes down to his local bike shop and after purchasing a top of the range bike, the owner of the shop tells him to coat the bike in Vaseline every time it looks like rain.

That night he goes and picks his girlfriend up on his new toy and heads over to her parents house for the first time. As they arrive there, she explains to him that whenever they have dinner, don't talk. "If you talk," she tells him, "you have to do the pots."

The man is astounded as the family all sits down for dinner not saying a word. The man decides to take advantage of the situation by groping his girlfriend's tits, yet there is not a sound from anyone. So he decides to shag his bird on the table, and still there is not a word.

He then proceeds to screw his girlfriend's mom over the table, but still, amazingly, there's not a word from anyone. Just at that moment he notices the rain on the more...

A village potter used to make pots and planters. He would go to a near by town to sell his wares. He had a donkey on whose back he would load the pots etc.
Diwali was fast approaching, so the potter decided to make some statues of Lord Ganesha and Goddess Lakshmi, to sell in town. He made some beautiful statues and painted them in bright colours. He then loaded them on to the back of his donkey and set off towards the city.
On the way, he crossed many people. They would invariably fold their hands and bow to the statues of Ganesha and Lakshmi. By the time they reached the city, many people had bowed their heads before the deities.
They reached the exhibition ground where the artisans could exhibit their things. Soon the potter was able to sell his statues for a good sum. He was pleased indeed!
The potter took his donkey by the muzzle and set off on the road leading back to the village. Every time they would cross anyone, the donkey would stop and preen himself more...

A bloke goes into a pub, takes a seat at the bar, and orders five pots. The barman gives him an odd look since the bloke's all by himself, but he serves up the five pots and lines them up on the bar.

The bloke downs them....One, Two, Three, Four, Five. He finishes the last one and calls to the barman, "Four pots, please, mate!"

The barman serves up four pots and lines them on the bar. The bloke downs them....One, Two, Three, Four. Then he belches loudly, sways slightly on the stool, and orders three more pots. And one after the other, he knocks them back....One, Two, Three.

"Two potsh, mate!" he calls, and the barman places two pots in front of him. Down they go....One, Two. As the bloke slams the last one down on the bar, he says, "One pot, mate." So the barman fills the glass.

The bloke sits there, staring at it for a moment, trying to focus. Then he looks at the barman and says, "Y'know, it'sh a funny more...