Prays Jokes / Recent Jokes

Jock finds himself in dire trouble. His business has gone bust and he's in serious financial problems. He's so desperate that he decides to ask God for help.
"God, please help me. Ah've lost ma wee store and if Ah dinna get some money, Ah'm going to lose my hoose too. Please let me win the lottery!"
Lottery night! Someone else wins...
Jock prays again. "God, please let me win the lottery! Ah've lost my wee store, ma hoose and Ah'm going to lose ma car as weel!"
Lottery night again! Still no luck...
Jock prays again. " Ah've lost ma business, ma hoose and ma car. Ma bairns are starving. Ah dinna often ask Ye for help and Ah have always been a good servant to Ye. PLEASE just let me win the lottery this one time so Ah can get back on ma feet!"
Suddenly there is a blinding flash as the heavens open and the voice of God Himself thunders: "Jock at least meet Me half way and buy a ticket!"

A man named Dave finds himself in dire trouble. His business has gone bankrupt and he's in serious financial trouble. He's so desperate that he turns to God for help and begins to pray... "Please help me, God. I've lost my business and if I don't get some money soon, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lotto."
Lotto night comes and he doesn't win.
Again, he prays... "God, please let me win the lotto. I've already lost my business, my house, and now I'm going to lose my car too."
Lotto night comes and still he has no luck.
Once again, he prays... "Dear Lord, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house and my car. My family is starving. I don't ask you for help often and I've always been a good servant to you. PLEASE, just let me win the lotto this one time so I will be able to get my life back in order."
Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open and Dave is confronted by the more...

A blond woman named Brandi finds herself in dire trouble. Her business has gone bust and she's in serious financial trouble. She's so desperate that she decides to ask God for help. She begins to pray: "God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lotto."
Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it.
Brandi again prays: "God, please let me win the lotto! I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well."
Lotto night comes and Brandi still has no luck. Once again, she prays: "My God, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house, and my car. My children are starving. I don't often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. PLEASE just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order."
Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open and Brandi is confronted by the more...

A guy named Joe finds himself in dire trouble. His business has gone bust and he's in serious financial trouble. He's so desperate that he decides to ask God for help. He begins to pray...
"God, please help me, I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well, please let me win the lotto".
Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it.
Joe again prays...
"God, please let me win the lotto! I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well".
Lotto night comes and Joe still has no luck.
Once again, he prays...
"My God, why have you forsaken me?? I've lost my business, my house, and my car. My wife and children are starving. I don't often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. PLEASE just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order. .. "
Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open and Joe is more...

A blond woman named Brandi finds herself in dire trouble. Her business has gone bust and she's in serious financial trouble. She's so desperate that she decides to ask God for help. She begins to pray: "God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lotto."
Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it.
Brandi again prays: "God, please let me win the lotto! I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well."
Lotto night comes and Brandi still has no luck. Once again, she prays: "My God, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house, and my car. My children are starving. I don't often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. PLEASE just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order."
Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open and Brandi is confronted by the voice more...

A guy named Joe finds himself in dire trouble. His business has gone bust and he's in serious
financial trouble. He's so desperate that he decides to ask God for help. He begins to pray...
'God, please help me, I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my
house as well, please let me win the lotto."
Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it. Joe again prays...'God, please let me win the
lotto, I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well.'
Lotto night comes and Joe still has no luck!! Once again, he prays...'My God, why have you
forsaken me?? I've lost my business, my house, my car and my wife and children are starving. I
don't often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. Why won't you just
let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order???'
Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open and Joe is confronted by more...

A guy named Joe finds himself in dire trouble. His business has gone bust and he's in serious financial trouble. He's so desperate he decides to ask God for help. He begins to pray... "God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lottery."

Lottery night comes and somebody else wins it. Joe again prays...
"God, please let me win the lottery! I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well."

Lotto night comes and Joe still has no luck. Once again, he prays... "My God, why have you forsaken me?? I've lost my business, my house, and my car. My wife and children are starving. I don't often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. PLEASE just let me win the lottery this one time so I can get my life back in order."

Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open and Joe is more...