Prefer Jokes / Recent Jokes
During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip joint
at least once.
All beds have special L-shaped top sheets which reach up to armpit level on
a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.
It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the
control tower to talk you down.
A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will
wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
Large loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range
of most people - whether they are employed or not.
Even when driving down a perfectly straight road it is necessary to turn the
steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.
At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.
A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
If you decide to start dancing in the street everyone you bump into will
know all the more...
(I heard this joke from a friend, and he attributed it to another friend.
This is purported to be a true quotation.)
Prior to the World Championships in Rome, Ben Johnson was asked whether
he would prefer a gold medal or a world record. He said that he would
prefer a gold medal because, "no one can ever take it away from me."
Jeff Salowe
The Difference...
Women have more imagination than men do. They need it to tell us how wonderful we are.
Women have their faults. Men have only two. Everything they say. Everything they do.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
The Style...
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.
A man is a person who will pay two dollars for a one-dollar item he wants.
A woman will pay one dollar for a two-dollar item that she doesn't want.
The Workplace...
When a man gives his opinion, he's a man. When a woman gives her opinions, she's a bitch.
Women are the only exploited group in history who has been idealized into powerlessness.
Relationships...
Diamonds are a girl's best friend. Dogs more...
Three Doctors are dicussing which types of patients they prefer. Doctor Watson says, ''I prefer librarians. All their organs are alphabetized.''
Doctor Fitzpatrick says, ''I prefer mathematicians. All their organs are numbered.''
Doctor Ahn says, ''I prefer lawyers. They are gutless, heartless, brainless, spineless, and their heads and rear ends are interchangeable.''
Three Doctors are dicussing which types of patients they prefer. Doctor Watson says,' I prefer librarians. All their organs are alphabetized.
Doctor Fitzpatrick says,' I prefer mathematicians. All their organs are numbered.'
Doctor Ahn says,' I prefer lawyers. They are gutless, heartless, brainless, spineless, and their heads and rear ends are interchangeable.'
84 Ways to Know If You`re Chinese 1. You unwrap Christmas gifts very carefully, so you can save and reuse the wrapping (and especially those bows) next year. 2. You only buy Christmas cards after Christmas, when they are 50% off. 3. When there is a sale on toilet paper, you buy 100 rolls and store them in your closet or in the bedroom of an adult child who has moved out. 4. You have a vinyl table cloth on your kitchen table. 5. Your stove is covered with aluminum foil. 6. Your kitchen has a sticky film of grease over it. 7. You have stuff in the freezer since the beginning of time. 8. You use the dishwasher as a dish rack. 9. You have never used your dishwasher. 10. You keep a Thermos of hot water available at all times. 11. You boil water and put it in the refrigerator. 12. You eat all meals in the kitchen. 13. You save grocery bags, tin foil, and tin containers. 14. You use grocery bags to hold garbage. 15. You always leave your shoes at the door. 16. You have a piano in your living more...
I prefer the wicked rather than the foolish. The wicked sometimes rest.