Pregnant Jokes / Recent Jokes

A pretty blonde woman is driving down a country road in her new sports car when something goes wrong with the car and it breaks down. Luckily, she happens to be near a farmhouse. She goes up to the farmhouse and knocks on the door. When the farmer answers, she says to him, "Oh, it's Sunday night and my car broke down! I don't know what to do! Can I stay here for the night until tomorrow when I can get some help?
"Well," drawls the farmer, "you can stay here, but I don't want you messin' with my sons Jed and Luke."
She looks through the screen door and sees two men standing behind the farmer. She judges them to be in the early twenties.
"Okay", she says.
After they have gone to bed for the night the woman begins to get a little horny just thinking about the two boys in the room next to her. So she quietly goes into their room and says, "Boys, how would you like for me to teach you the ways of the world?"
They say, more...

Hillary Clinton goes to her doctor for a physical, only to find outthat shes pregnant! She is furious. Here just became the senator ofNew York and this has happened to her. She gets Bill on the phone and immediately starts screaming: "How could you have let this happen? With all thats going on right now, you go and get me pregnant! Howcould you??!!! I cant believe this! I just found out I am five weeks pregnant and it is all your fault!!! Your fault!!! Well, what haveyou got to say???"There is nothing but dead silence on the phone. She screamsagain, "Did you hear me??!!" Finally she hears Bills very, veryquiet voice. In a barely audible whisper, he says, "Who is this?"

A man who's wife was pregnant couldn't bear to be in the delivery room at the time of the birth.
So he thought he'd ring up later to see if it had come yet.
He rang up and the nurse said "it's a girl but theres another one on the way"
he rang again later and the nurse said "it's another girl but there's another coming"
he rang once more and the nurse said " it's a boy but there's another coming"
He couldn't stand it any more so he went to the pub and got drunk.
An hour later he was really nervous. He was dialling the hospital, hands shaking, and accidently dialled the sports line. he asked " how many did we get mate" the person said "198 all out.... and the last one was a duck"

Whats the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman?
You can unscrew a lightbulb.

A pretty woman is driving down a country road in her new sports car when the car breaks down. Luckily, she happens to be near a farmhouse. She goes up to the farmhouse and knocks on the door. When the farmer answers, she says to him, "Oh, it's Sunday night and my car broke down! Can I stay here for the night until tomorrow when I can get some help?"
"Well," drawls the farmer, "you can stay here, but I don't want you messin' with my sons Jed and Luke."
She looks through the screen door and sees two young men standing behind the farmer. She judges them to be in the early twenties. "Okay," she says.
After they have gone to bed for the night the woman begins to get a little horny just thinking about the two boys in the room next to her. So she quietly goes into their room and says, "Boys, how would you like for me to teach you the ways of the world?"
They say, "Huh?"
She says, "The only thing is, I don't more...

Q: Why do blondes insist on guys wearing condoms?
A: So they'll have a doggie bag for later.
Q: What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
A: "Are you sure it's mine?"
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a walrus?
A: One has whiskers and fishy flaps, the other is a walrus
Q: What does a blonde say after she graduates from college?
A: "Hi, welcome to McDonalds."
Q: What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet?
A: Last year's hide and seek champ.
Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head?
A: A space invader.
Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
A: Gifted!
Q: How do blonde brain cells die?
A: Alone.
Q: Why did the blonde resolve to have only three children?
A: Because she read that one child out of every four born was Chinese.
Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
A: Pregnant.
Q: What do you call it when a blonde dyes her more...

Why did the mexican girl get pregnant? Because her teacher told her to write an essay.