Pregnant Jokes / Recent Jokes
Hillary Clinton is not feeling well. She goes to her doctor and gets a complete physical, only to find out that she is pregnant. She is furious and can't believe this has happened.
She calls the White House and gets Bill on the phone, and immediately begins to berate him, screaming: "How could you have let this happen? With all of the trouble going on right now, you go and get me pregnant!!!
How could you???!!!
I can't believe this has happened!
I just found out I am 5 weeks pregnant and it is all your fault!!!
How could you???
Well, what have you got to say???"
There is nothing but silence on the phone.
She screams again: "CAN YOU HEAR ME???!!!
She finally hears Bill's very, very quiet voice.
In a barely audible whisper he says, "Who is this?"
A woman takes her 16-year-old daughter to the doctor. The doctor says, "Okay, Mrs. Smith, what's the problem?" The mother says, "It's my daughter Lynda. She keeps getting these cravings, she's putting on weight, and is sick most mornings." The doctor gives Lynda a good examination, then turns to the mother and says, "Well, I don't know how to tell you this, but your Lynda is pregnant - about 4 months, would be my guess." The mother says, "Pregnant?! She can't be, she has never ever been left alone with a man! Have you, Lynda?" Lynda says, "No mother! I've never even kissed a man!" The doctor walked over to the window and just stares out it. About five minutes pass and finally the mother says, "Is there something wrong out there doctor?" The doctor replies, "No, not really, it's just that the last time anything like this happened, a star appeared in the east and three wise men came over the hill. I'll be darned if I'm more...
Hillary Clinton is not feeling well. She goes to her doctor and gets a complete physical, only to find out that she is pregnant. She is furious and can't believe this has happened.She calls the White House and gets Bill on the phone, and immediately begins to berate him, screaming: "How could you have let this happen? With all of the trouble going on right now, you go and get me pregnant!!! How could you???!!! I can't believe this has happened! I just found out I am 5 weeks pregnant and it is all your fault!!! How could you??? Well, what have you got to say???"There is nothing but silence on the phone.She screams again: "CAN YOU HEAR ME???!!! She finally hears Bill's very, very quiet voice.In a barely audible whisper he says, "Who is this?"
Hillary Clinton noticed that she was unusually hungry, having stomache pains, and hasn't had her period for 2 months.
She decides to go a doctor to get checked out. The doctor returns with the diagnosis that she is indeed pregnant.
As you can imagine, the first thing she did was call her husband, Bill Clinton. "Honey, I have some news for you. You got me PREGNANT." After a few minutes, Bill's voice comes back on the line.
"Don't panic. I will sort this out, but first I need to know who you are."
*This is not true*
Hillary Clinton went in for her yearly check-up.
When it was finished, she asked her gynecologist how everything was. He said he was pleased and that she was in great shape, and that she was pregnant. "No way!" she exclaimed, but he assured her she was most definitely pregnant.
She stormed out of the examining room, grabbed the receptionist's phone and dialed the private line in the Oval Office. When Bill answered the phone, she shouted, "I can't believe it! I'm pregnant! You got me pregnant!"
The president didn't say anything, and she screamed, "Didn't you hear me? I'm pregnant! You got me pregnant!"
Hesitantly, the president asked, "Um...who IS this?"
In a second grade sex education class, a little girl asks,
" Teacher, can my momma get pregnant?"
The teacher asks,
"How old is your mother?"
The little girl says,
"Forty."
The teacher says,
"Yes, your mother could get pregnant."
The little girl asks,
"Can my big sister get pregnant?"
The teacher asks,
"How old is your sister?"
The little girl answers,
"Nineteen."
The teacher says,
"Oh my sweet, yes, your sister certainly could get pregnant."
The little girl asks,
"Can I get pregnant?"
The teacher asks,
"How old are you?"
The little girl says,
"I'm seven years! ! old."
The teacher says,
"No, you can't get pregnant."
The little boy behind the little girl gives her a poke and says,
"See, I told you we had nothing to worry about."
This wife has been married for seven years and has
six kids and is tired of being pregnant. So, she goes
to talk to her priest, the priest tells her to go and
by a ten gallon bucket and stick her feet in it of a night,
she thanks him and goes off to do as he says.
Well six months later the priest sees her and sure enough
she is pregnant again. The priest asks her if she followed
his instructions, she said yes but that she could not find
a ten gallon bucket so she bought two five gallon buckets.