Prescribed Jokes

A badly constipated man went to the doctors. The doctor prescribed suppositories and told the man to take one once every four hours. The man left the doctor, happy that his problem would soon be gone.

When he got home, he took a suppository, swallowing it with a glass of water. Four hours passed. Nothing happened. But he figured that these things take time, so he swallowed another one, hoping he would reap the benefits very soon. After several days of taking the suppositories every four hours, he was still constipated, so he returned to the doctor.

When he explained that he took one every four hours, as prescribed, the doctor exclaimed, "What are you doing? Swallowing them?"

The man replied sarcastically, "No, I'm shoving them up my arse!!!"

A woman had been prescribed testosterone, a male hormone, and was concerned about some of the side effects she was experiencing. She decided to make an appointment with her doctor to discuss her concerns.
"Doctor, the medication you prescribed has been really helping, but I'm afraid maybe you're giving me too much. I'm growing hair in places I've never grown hair before," she told him.
The doctor reassuringly said, "A little hair growth is a normal side effect of testosterone. Where has the hair appeared?"
"On my balls!"

A man suffering from severe constipation went to consult a doctor. The doctor prescribed a laxative. It did not work. When the man turned up again the next day to complain of the medicine's ineffectiveness, the doctor prescribed a strong purgative. It had no effect either and the man turned up for something more effective. "What do you do for a living?" asked the doctor.
"I am a poet. I write Punjabi poetry," replied the man.
"Your trouble is not constipation," said the doctor, "there is nothing in your stomach to be evacuated. Take these ten rupees and get something to eat."

A badly constipated man went to the doctors. The doctor prescribed suppositories and told the man to take one once every four hours. The man left the doctor, happy that his problem would soon be gone.
When he got home, he took a suppository, swallowing it with a glass of water. Four hours passed. Nothing happened. But he figured that these things take time, so he swallowed another one, hoping he would reap the benefits very soon. After several days of taking the suppositories every four hours, he was still constipated, so he returned to the doctor.
When he explained that he took one every four hours, as prescribed, the doctor exclaimed, "What are you doing? Swallowing them?"
The man replied sarcastically, "No, I'm shoving them up my arse!!!"

A man was badly constipated, and had been for several weeks, so he went to
a doctor to try to alleviate his problem. The doctor prescribed suppositories,
and told the man to take one once every four hours. The man left the doctor,
happy that his problem would soon be gone.
When he got home, he quickly took a suppository, swallowing it down with a
glass of water. After four hours, nothing happened, but he figured that these
things take time, so he swallowed another one down, hoping that he would
reap the benefits very soon. After several days, he was still constipated,
so he returned to the doctor.
When he explained that he took one every four hours, as prescribed, the doctor
exclaimed:
"What the hell are you doing? Swallowing them?"
The man replied, sarcastically:
"NO, I'M SHOVING THEM UP MY ASS!!!"