Principal Jokes / Recent Jokes

There was a new girl in school, when asked her name, she replied "Happy-Butt". When hearing this, the teacher said, "Go straight to the principal young lady." At that, she went to the principal.
He asked her why she was in the office, and she said "The teacher sent me hear so you can find out my real name." He said "well, what is your name?" she said "My name is Happy-Butt" He said "That's not a name, I'm looking it up in the computer RIGHT NOW!"
So he looks in the computer, and he says "it lists here that your name is Gladys." She said "Exactly, Happy-Butt, Glad-Ass... SAME THING!"

There was a new girl in school, when asked her name, she replied "Happy-Butt". When hearing this, the teacher said, "Go straight to the principal young lady." At that, she went to the principal. He asked her why she was in the office, and she said "The teacher sent me hear so you can find out my real name." He said "well, what is your name?" she said "My name is Happy-Butt" He said "That's not a name, I'm looking it up in the computer RIGHT NOW!" So he looks in the computer, and he says "it lists here that your name is Gladys." She said "Exactly, Happy-Butt, Glad-Ass... SAME THING!"

A MEETING was held in the college in Ajmer to mourn the death of the retired principal. A member of the staff, after praising the qualities of head and heart of the deceased, ended his speech, saying,' It was so sad that our beloved Principal had to answer the call of Nature so soon/
Not to be outdone, the college magazine paid an equally moving tribute: May his soul rest in eternal piss (peace).

A first grade teacher, Miss Daisy, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asks, "Johnny! What is your problem?"
Little Johnny says, "I'm too smart for the first grade. My sister is in the third grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third grade!"
Miss Daisy had enough. She took Little Johnny to the principal's office. While Little Johnny waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told the teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his own questions he was to go back to the first grade and behave.
The teacher agreed. Little Johnny is brought in the room. The principal tells Little Johnny and he agrees.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?" Little Johnny: "9"
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?" Little Johnny: "36"
Principal: "What is 9 x 9?" Little Johnny: more...

Many a true word is spoken in jest but.............
Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.

1977 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up mates.

2007 - Police are called, Armed Response Unit arrives and arrests Johnny and Mark. Mobiles with video of fight confiscated as evidence. They are charged with assault, ASBOs are taken out and both are suspended even though Johnny started it. Diversionary conferences and parent meetings conducted. Video shown on 6 internet sites.

Scenario: Jeffrey won't sit still in class, disrupts other students.

1977 - Jeffrey is sent to the principal's office and given 6 of the best. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.

2007 - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. Counseled to death. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra funding because Jeffrey has a disability. Drops out of school.

Scenario: Billy more...

The principal was very proud of his school's academic record.' It is very impressive.' said one parent who was considering sending his son there.' How do you maintain such high standards?'
' Simple,' said the principal.' The school motto says it all.'
' What's that?' asked the parent.
' If at first you don't succeed, you're expelled.'

A teacher on playground duty noticed a scruffy little boy sitting in the dirt and intently working on something. As she approached, she saw that he was using a twig to stir something in an old soup can. “What have you got in the can, Johnny? ” she asked brightly. He looked up at her with evil little eyes and said, “Got me some chicken shit n’ water. ” After she had recovered from her shock, she stammered, “What in the world are you doing? ” “Makin’ me a teacher! ” “Oooh! ” she howled. “The principal shall hear of this! ” and she stamped off to find him. When she returned with the principal in tow, the boy was still hard at work, stirring away, frowning in concentration. “All right, Johnny! Now, you tell me, what have you got in that can there? ” said the principal. “I got me some chicken shit an’ water, ” said Johnny, grinning crookedly at the man and continuing to stir. The principal recoiled in horror. “What do you think you’re doing? ” he more...