Principal Jokes / Recent Jokes

Bart Simpson's Chalkboard Archive
I will not carve gods.
I will not spank others.
I will not aim for the head.
I will not barf unless I'm sick.
I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty.
I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge.
I will not conduct my own fire drills.
Funny noises are not funny.
I will not snap bras.
I will not fake seizures.
This punishment is not boring and pointless.
My name is not Dr. Death.
I will not defame New Orleans.
I will not prescribe medication.
I will not bury the new kid.
I will not teach others to fly.
I will not bring sheep to class.
A burp is not an answer.
Teacher is not a leper.
Coffee is not for kids.
I will not eat things for money.
I will not yell "She's Dead" at roll call.
The principal's toupee is not a Frisbee.
I will not call the principal "spud head".
Goldfish don't bounce.
Mud is not one of the 4 food more...

Bart Simpson's Chalkboard Archive I will not carve gods.I will not spank others.I will not aim for the head.I will not barf unless I'm sick.I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty. I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge. I will not conduct my own fire drills.Funny noises are not funny.I will not snap bras.I will not fake seizures.This punishment is not boring and pointless. My name is not Dr. Death.I will not defame New Orleans.I will not prescribe medication.I will not bury the new kid.I will not teach others to fly.I will not bring sheep to class.A burp is not an answer.Teacher is not a leper.Coffee is not for kids.I will not eat things for money.I will not yell "She's Dead" at roll call. The principal's toupee is not a Frisbee.I will not call the principal "spud head". Goldfish don't bounce.Mud is not one of the 4 food groups. No one is interested in my underpants. I will not sell miracle cures.I will return the seeing-eye dog.I do not have more...

Johnny missed his final exam due to the flu, but he'd done so wellduring the year that the teacher suggests to the principal they givehim an oral exam to make up for the test he'd missed. The principalagrees so they called Johnny into the office and explain about theoral test.First the teacher asks, "Johnny what does a cow have four of, that Ionly have two of?"Johnny replies, "Legs."So the teacher asks, "Johnny, what do you have in your pants that Idon't have in my pants?""Pockets," Johnny replies.Finally the teacher asks, "And Johnny, what is the capital of Italy?""Rome," is his answer.With that the teacher turns to the principal and asks,"Well, shall we pass him?""Better not ask me," the principal says, "I got the first two wrong!"

The opening credits of The Simpsons(tm) shows Bart Simpson writing the same sentence over and over again on the chalkboard. Here are the collected writings of Bart Simpson from the opening credits.
I will not carve gods.
I will not spank others.
I will not aim for the head.
I will not barf unless I'm sick.
I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge.
I will not conduct my own fire drills.
Funny noises are not funny.
I will not snap bras.
I will not fake seizures.
This punishment is not boring and pointless.
My name is not Dr. Death.
I will not prescribe medication.
I will not bury the new kid.
I will not teach others to fly.
I will not bring sheep to class.
A burp is not an answer.
Teacher is not a leper.
I will not eat things for money.
I will not yell "She's Dead" at roll call.
The principal's toupee is not a Frisbee.
I will not call the principal "spud head".
Goldfish don't more...

The opening credits of The Simpsons(tm) shows Bart Simpson writing the same sentence over and over again on the chalkboard. Here are the collected writings of Bart Simpson from the opening credits.I will not carve gods.I will not spank others.I will not aim for the head.I will not barf unless I'm sick.I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge.I will not conduct my own fire drills.Funny noises are not funny.I will not snap bras.I will not fake seizures.This punishment is not boring and pointless.My name is not Dr. Death.I will not prescribe medication.I will not bury the new kid.I will not teach others to fly.I will not bring sheep to class.A burp is not an answer.Teacher is not a leper.I will not eat things for money.I will not yell "She's Dead" at roll call.The principal's toupee is not a Frisbee.I will not call the principal "spud head".Goldfish don't bounce.Mud is not one of the 4 food groups.No one is interested in my underpants.I will not sell miracle more...

As the Principal made his rounds during the first day of school, he could hear a terrible commotion coming from one of the classrooms.
He quickly rushed in and spotted one boy, much taller than the others, who appeared to be making the most noise.
He seized the lad, dragged him to the hall, and told him to remain there until he was excused.
Returning to the classroom, the Principal restored order and lectured the students for quite some time on the importance of good behavior.
"Now," he said, "are there any questions?"
One girl stood up timidly and asked, "Yes, sir. May we please have our teacher back?"

A violist was in the back seat of a small town's orchestra. One day he found a genie and was granted three wishes, the first wish was that he wanted to be 5 times better then he already was. By the next practice he was principal of the violists. After some time, he wanted to become even better. He went to the geinie and asked to be 10 times better once more. The next day he became the principal violist of the Chicago Symphony Orchestra. After months he still wanted to become a musician. He asked the genie once more but to be 15 times better. The next day at practice he was back in his small town's orchestra but in the very back of the second violin section.