Principal Jokes / Recent Jokes
A Rhode Island woman is accused of punching and biting her 11-year-old son's school principal after she was told the boy was being suspended. The principal paid her $50 and made an appointment for next week.
If you are a cartoon character, have friends or relatives who are cartoon characters, or are a cartoon character sympathizer... please delete this message now. (grin)
I will not defame New Orleans
I will not waste chalk
I will not skateboard in the halls
I will not burp in class
I will not instigate a revolution
I will not draw naked ladies in class
I did not see Elvis
I will not call my teacher 'Hot Cakes'
Garlic gum is not funny
They are laughing at me, not with me
I will not yell "fire" in a crowded classroom
I will not encourage others to fly
I will not fake my way through life
Tar is not a plaything
I will not Xerox my butt
I will not trade my pants with others
I will not do that thing with my tongue
I will not drive the principal's car
I will not pledge allegiance to Bart
I will not sell school property
I will not cut corners
I will not get very far with this attitude
I will not more...
The telephone rings in the principal's office at a school.
"Hello, this is Dunn Elementary," answers the principal.
"Hi. Jimmy won't be able to come to school all next week," replies the voice.
"Well, what seems to be the problem with him?"
We are all going on a family vacation," says the voice,
"I hope it is all right."
"I guess that would be fine," says the principal. "May I ask who is calling?"
"Sure. This is my father!"
This little 7 year old boy was sitting at his desk in school and he was squirming and squirming around. Finally the teacher asks him what is wrong.
He tells her he is sore because he just got circumsised yesterday.
She tells him to go and see the principal. He goes to the principal and comes back 5 minutes later with his penis hanging out of his fly.
The teacher is outraged and asked him the meaning of this type of behaviour.
He says "The principal asked me to see if I could stick it out until the end of the school day"!!!!!
A first grade teacher was having a lot of trouble with one of her students. "What is wrong with you, Billy?" she asked.
"I'm way to smart for grade one," Billy answered. "My big sister is in grade three and I'm smarter than she is. I think I should be in grade three too!"
Having had enough, the teacher took Billy to the principal and explained the situation to him while Billy waited outside the office. The principal told the teacher he would give Billy a test and if he failed any of the questions, then he was to go back to grade one and behave. Billy was brought into the office, the condtions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Billy: "9"
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Billy: "36"
And so it went with every question the principal felt a third grader should know. He then looked at the teacher and said, "I feel Billy can go to the third more...
The principal of a local town's middle school was having problems with the condition of the girls' bathroom. The girls were leaving lipstick kisses all over the bathroom mirrors. Warnings to cease this activity were announced daily over the loudspeaker to no avail.
One day the principal gathered all of the suspected girls in the bathroom and introduced them to the janitor, Mr. Jones. Asking them again to stop this activity. He emphasized how hard it was for Mr. Jones to clean the mess, and then asked Mr. Jones to demonstrate how hard it was to clean the lipstick off of the mirror.
Mr. Jones stepped forward, withdrew a long handled brush dipped it into the toilet bowl and proceeded to clean the mirrors. The principal is happy to announce that there are no more problems with lipstick on the mirrors.
Principal: Do you do your homework? Kid: Now & ThenPrincipal: Where do you do it? Kid: Here & TherePrincipal: Put him in the closet!!! Kid: Hey, When will I get out? Principal: Oh, sooner or later