Principal Jokes / Recent Jokes

A first grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students, Johnny. " I'm too smart for the first grade. My sister is in the third grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third grade too!'"
The teacher had had enough. She took Johnny to the principal's office. While Johnny waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told the teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first grade and behave. The teacher agreed. Johnny was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agrees to take the test.
" What is 3x3? " " 9. " " What is 6 x 6? " " 36. " And so it went with every question the principal thought a third grader should know. The principal looked at the teacher and told her he thought Johnny belonged in third grade. " Let me ask him some questions. What more...

"Isn't the principal a dummy!" said a boy to a girl. "Say, do you know who I am?" asked the girl. "No." "I'm the principal's daughter." "And do you know who I am?" asked the boy. "No," she replied. "Thank goodness!"

This kid named Budditches lives wit his only relation-his grandma. He was enrolled in school and on the first day the teacher asked him his name. He replied,"Butitches" the teacher says, (after a lot of laughter from the class,)alright really what is your name? he again gives the same response. The teacher gets annoyed after a while and sends him to the principals office. He walkes in and the principal askes him his name. Again, he replies, "Buttitches" and the principal says that this is not the time for fun and games. Then he says that he will send Buttitches to the police office so buttitches tells him his name again witch, is buttiches. Buttitches goes to the police office and one of the cops asked him his name and he says buttitches the cop points his gun at buttitches head and asked him again he gets the same reply. later the cop shoots buttitches in the head and calls his grandma to tell her that he had killed her grandson. After a wile of crying she says oh more...

' Why is your name the same as principal's? ' a new boy at school asked his teacher.
' Because he's my father! '
' Did you know that when you took the job? '

Johnny missed his final exam due to the flu, but he'd done so wellduring the year that the teacher suggests to the principal they givehim an oral exam to make up for the test he'd missed. The principalagrees so they called Johnny into the office and explain about theoral test. First the teacher asks, "Johnny what does a cow have four of, that Ionly have two of?" Johnny replies, "Legs." So the teacher asks, "Johnny, what do you have in your pants that Idon't have in my pants?" "Pockets," Johnny replies. Finally the teacher asks, "And Johnny, what is the capital of Italy?" "Rome," is his answer. With that the teacher turns to the principal and asks,"Well, shall we pass him?" "Better not ask me," the principal says, "I got the first two wrong!"

After spending his first couple of weeks in school, Johnnie began complaining, "I'm too smart for the first grade. My sister's in the third grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third grade!"

When the requests continued, the teacher finally had enough. She took Johnnie to the principal's office and explained Johnnie's request.

While Johnnie waited in the outer office, the teacher explained the situation to the principal. The principal told Johnnie's teacher that he would give the boy a test and if Johnnie failed to answer any of the special questions he would stay in the first grade and behave.

The teacher agreed. Johnnie was brought into the room. The principal told Johnnie his terms and Johnnie agreed.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"

Johnnie: "9."

Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"

Johnnie: "36."

Principal: "What is 9 x more...

The following is "rumored" to be a real news story.
LADUE ASSISTANT PRINCIPAL PRAISES STUDENT PRANK OFFERING SCHOOL FOR SALE
By Carolyn Bower [St. Louis] Post-Dispatch Thursday, May 25, 2000 | 7:10 p.m.
A classified advertisement that ran this week in the Post-Dispatch offered what seemed like a deal for those seeking a house in the wealthy St. Louis suburb of Ladue.
For sale by owner: 1201 South Warson Road. Open house May 24. Lavish two-story residence, all brick, renovated bathroom, theater/entertainment room, finished basement, intercom system, tennis court and indoor pool. $550,000/offer.
The catch: The property is Ladue Horton Watkins High School. The open house date was the last day of classes for seniors.
Brad Heger, assistant principal at the school, learned about the ad after he arrived at work Monday and listened to his voice-mail messages.
He got dozens of calls on his private line at school about the offer. Heger called those who had more...