Printer Jokes / Recent Jokes

A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.

Bob had a problem with his printer, so he called the local repair shop. The man at the shop informed him that the printer probably only needed to be cleaned. He suggested that since the shop would charge $50 to clean it, it may be better if he read the manual and tried to do the job himself.
Amazed by his candor, Bob asked the man, "Is your boss aware that you discourage business?"
"In truth," the man replied, "it's his idea. We've found that if we allow people to attempt to repair things themselves first, we make more money on repairs."

Kanjibhai was preparing wedding cards for their son at the printers. Kanjibhai was not very good at English so he asked the printer to help him. After the printer had presented Kanjibhai with a draft, Kanjibhai quickly pointed out that the " RSVP " was missing.

The printer was surprised by Kanjibhai's knowledge and asked him if Kanjibhai knew what it meant. Kanjibhai started to think and after much thought he replied: "Vait! I remember! I remember! RSVP!! It means "Remember, Send Vedding Present!"

When I went to college in the 1980's, I heard a lot of words like' 'data and' 'beta version.'' They confused me. I wanted desperately to know what people were talking about, what Big Secret resided in the computer industry.

Now that I've worked in a computer company for the last few years, I've gained an insider's perspective. I decided to share my knowledge with the uninitiated by creating the following brief, handy glossary:

Alpha. Software undergoes alpha testing as a first step in getting user feedback. Alpha is Latin for' 'doesn't work.''

Beta. Software undergoes beta testing shortly before it's released. Beta is Latin for' 'still doesn't work.''

Computer. Instrument of torture. The first computer was invented by Roger' 'Duffy'' Billingsly, a British scientist. In a plot to overthrow Adolf Hitler, Duffy disguised himself as a German ally and offered his invention as a gift to the surly dictator. The plot worked. On April 8, 1945, Adolf more...

AAC Alter All CommandsAAD Alter All DataAAO Add And OverflowAAR Alter At RandomAB Add BackwardsABC AlphaBetize CodeABR Add Beyond RangeACC Advance CPU ClockACDC Allow Controller to Delete ContentsACDP Allow Controller to Die PeacefullyACQT Advance Clock to Quitting TimeADB Another Dumb BugAEE Absolve Engineering ErrorsAFF Add Fudge FactorAFHB Align Fullword on Halfword BoundaryAFP Abnormalize Floating PointAFR Abort Funny RoutineAFVC Add Finagle's Variable ConstantAGB Add GarBageAGWA Add and Get Wrong AnswerAI Add ImproperAIB Attack Innocent BystanderAIB Attack Innocent BystandersAISG Access and Improve Student GradeAMM Add Mayo and MustardAMM Answer My MailAMS Add Memory to SystemANC ANnoy ConsultantAOI Annoy Operator ImmediateAR Advance RudelyAR Alter RealityARN Add and Reset to Non-zeroARN Add and Reset to NonzeroARZ Add and Reset to ZeroAS Add SidewaysASQGSA ASCII Stupid Question, Get a Stupid ANSIAT Accumulate TriviaAWP Argue With ProgrammerAWTT Assemble With Tinker ToysBA Branch more...

Santa and Jeeto were preparing wedding cards for their son at the printers. Jeeto was not very good at English so she asked the printer to help her. After the printer had presented her with a draft, she quickly pointed out that the "RSVP " was missing. The printer was surprised by Jeeto`s knowledge and asked her if she knew what it meant. Jeeto started to think and after much thought he replied, "Vait! I remember! I remember! RSVP!! It means "Remember, Send Vedding Present!"

A co-worker got a pen stuck inside the printer. He started to try and remove the pen, but I told him we don't have time for that now, just put a note on the printer telling folks not to use it and then report it to the Help Desk.
So he grabbed a piece of paper and scrawled on it. I left before he finished the note. About 20 minutes later, one of my techs comes in laughing and says he was just in the lobby, saw a piece of paper on a printer and went to investigate.
Attached is what he found. Sometimes things don't always come out the
way you want them to!!
CLICK HERE FOR THE PICTURE!