Probably Jokes / Recent Jokes
Well, it's getting to be summer camp time, here in the good ol' USA, and one of the legendary requirements is the eternal "letter home." Here's an example provided me by a dear friend, trinette.
Dear Mom and Dad,
Our scoutmaster told us to write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and were worried. We are OK. Only one of our tents and two sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily, none of us got drowned because we were all up the mountain looking for Chad when it happened. Oh yes, please call Chad's mother and tell her he is OK. He can't write because of the cast. I got to ride in one of the search and rescue jeeps. It was neat. We never would have found him in the dark if it wasn't for the lightning.
Scoutmaster Walt got mad at Chad for going on a hike alone without telling anyone. Chad said he did tell him, but it was during the fire so he probably didn't hear him. Did you know that if you put gas on a fire, the gas can will blowup? The wet wood didn't more...
If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't home and it's safe to leave a message.
Just in case you have forgotten the rules for a safe and Happy Halloween.
When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see if
it's really dead.
Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.
Do not search the basement, especially if the power has gone out.
If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they
should not know, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief
in the long run. However, it will probably take several rounds to kill
them, so be prepared. This also applies to kids who speak with somebody
else's voice.
When you have the benefit of numbers, NEVER pair off and go it alone.
As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.
Never stand in, on, or above a grave, tomb, or crypt. This would apply
to any other house of the dead as well.
If you're searching for something which caused a loud noise and find out
that it's just the cat, GET more...
Top 20 Sayings We'd Like To See On Those Office Inspirational Posters:
1. Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings, they did it by killing all those who opposed them.
2. If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos...then you probably haven't completely understood the seriousness of the situation.
3. Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you job security.
4. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
5. Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity.
6. A person who smiles in the face of adversity probably has a scapegoat.
7. Plagiarism saves time.
8. If at first you don't succeed, try management.
9. Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.
10. TEAMWORK...means never having to take all the blame yourself.
11. The beatings will continue until morale improves.
12. Never underestimate the power of very stupid people more...
Girlfriend Tech Support E-mail I am currently running the latest version of GirlFriend and I've beenhaving some problems lately. I've been running the same version ofDrinkingBuddies 1. 0 forever as my primary application, and all theGirlFriend releases I've tried have always conflicted with it. I hearthat DrinkingBuddies won't crash if GirlFriend is run in background modeand the sound is turned off. But I'm embarrassed to say I can't findthe switch to turn the sound off. I just run them separately, and itworks okay. Girlfriend also seems to have a problem co-existing with my Fishing 97program, often trying to abort Fishing 97 with some sort of timingincompatibility. I probably should have stayed with GirlFriend 1. 0, butI thought I might see better performance from GirlFriend 2. 0. Aftermonths of conflicts and other problems, I consulted a friend who has hadexperience with GirlFriend 2. 0. He said I probably didn't have enoughcache to run GirlFriend 2. 0, and eventually it would more...
Top 20 Sayings We'd Like To See On Those Office Inspirational Posters:1. Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings, they did it by killing all those who opposed them.2. If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos...then you probably haven't completely understood the seriousness of the situation.3. Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you job security.4. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.5. Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity.6. A person who smiles in the face of adversity probably has a scapegoat.7. Plagiarism saves time.8. If at first you don't succeed, try management.9. Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.10. TEAMWORK...means never having to take all the blame yourself.11. The beatings will continue until morale improves.12. Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups.13. We waste time so you don't have to.14. more...
Top 20 things we'd like to see on those inspirational posters around the office
1. Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings, they did it by killing all those who opposed them.
2. If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos...then you probably haven't completely understood the seriousness of the situation.
3. Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you job security.
4. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
5. Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity
6. A person who smiles in the face of adversity... probably has a scapegoat.
7. Plagiarism saves time.
8. If at first you don't succeed, try management.
9. Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.
10. TEAMWORK...means never having to take all the blame yourself.
11. The beatings will continue until morale improves.
12. Never underestimate the power of very more...