Profile Jokes / Recent Jokes
A policeman was testing 3 brothers who were training to become detectives.
To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first one a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The first one answers, "That`s easy; we`ll catch him fast because he only has one eye!" The policeman says, "Well... uh... that`s because the picture I showed is his side profile."
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second one and asks him, "This is your suspect, and how would you recognize him?"
The second one smiles and says, "Ha! He`d be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!" The policeman angrily responds,
"What`s the matter with you two? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it`s a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up more...
A seargent is interviewing three cadets who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first cadet a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" The first cadet answers, "Thats easy, well catch him fast because he only has one eye!" The seargent says, "Well... uh... thats because the picture I showed is his side profile." Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second cadet and asks him, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" The second cadet smiles, and says, "Ha! Hed be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!" The policeman angrily responds, "Whats the matter with you two? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because its a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?!" Extremely frustrated at this point, he more...
A feature of America On Line (AOL) is detailed member profiles. At the bottom of each profile is a space for a personal quote. Below are some that I thought were funny.
I'll never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception
- Groucho
Someone asked, "How are you", I said, "Not yet."
- Jack Bailey
If a tree falls in a forest with no one around.. does anyone care?
My way of joking is telling the truth. That is the funniest joke of all.
- G.B.Shaw
Never attribute to malice that which can be accounted for by stupidity.
I knew you'd be checking this. That's why it's strategically vague.
I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in there I'll never know.
- G.Marx
Why are you checking my profile?
Are cataracts... genetic blueblockers?
The toilet is the only place where everyone knows what they are doing.
Nancy Kerrigan has more teeth in her mouth than Jeffery Dahmer had in his entire more...
A policeman was interrogating 3 blondes who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first blonde a picture for 5 second and then hides it. "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" The first blonde answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!" The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture shows his PROFILE." Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second blonde and asks her, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" The second blonde giggles, flips her hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!" The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?? Of course only one eye and one ear are SHOWING because it's a picture of his profile!! Is that the best ans wer you can come up with?" Extremely frustrated at this more...
A policeman was testing 3 Singh brothers who were training to become
detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the
first Singh a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. "This is your
suspect, how would you recognize him?" The first Singh answers, "That's
easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!" The policeman
says, "Well... uh... that's because the picture I showed is his side
profile."
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for
5 seconds at the second Singh and asks him, "This is your suspect, how
would
you recognize him?"
The second Singh smiles and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy
to catch because he only has one ear!" The policeman angrily responds,
"What's the matter with you two? Of course only one eye and one ear are
showing because it's a picture of his side profile! Is that the best more...
A policeman was interrogating 3 blondes who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first blonde a picture for 5 second and then hides it.
"This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The first blonde answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"
The policeman says, "Well... uh... that's because the picture shows his PROFILE."
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second blonde and asks her, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The second blonde giggles, flips her hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"
The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?? Of course only one eye and one ear are SHOWING because it's a picture of his profile!! Is that the best answer you can come up more...
1. Tech Support calls "YOU" for help.
2. Someone at work tells you a joke and you say "LOL" out loud.
3. You find yourself trying to cock your head 90 degrees when you smile.
4. You have called out someone's screen name while making love to your significant other.
5. You keep begging your friends to get an account so "we can hang out".
6. Three words: Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.
7. If you are male and see a female in the "Real" world that you wish to meet, your first thought is to IM her.
8. If you are female and you see a male in the "Real" world that you wish to meet, your first thought is that you wish he'd IM you.
9. You don't understand the humor in the above mentioned #7 and #8 since the "real" world is at your fingertips.
10. You have to get a 2nd phone line just so you can call Pizza Hut.
11. When you have sex, more...