Promotion Jokes / Recent Jokes
10. Day one: Start an official sounding rumor about your boss being considered for a big promotion. Day two: Spread a rumor that the promotion involves your boss heading up a new facility in Bosnia.
9. Whenever a co-worker asks if you want coffee, say, "No thanks, it doesn't mix well with thorazine."
8. Attach 10 or so bottles of white-out to the inside of your suit jacket. Every time you pass a co-worker, surreptitiously open your jacket and whisper, "I got white-out here; three bucks a pop; good quality stuff; who needs white-out?"
7. Bring several large mason jars to work and fill them part way with water and yellow food coloring; display them conspicuously around your work space. Tell anyone who asks about them that you are just taking part in an efficiency study that your boss came up with to cut down on the time employees spend away from their desks.
6. Tell your boss that you intend to spread out your vacation time by taking off one more...
A MINI MARKET IS DOING A PROMOTION.. BUY 1 FREE 1.. 1 CUSTOMER CAME IN...
OWNER: WELCOME... WE ARE DOING A PROMOTION BUY 1 FREE 1..
CUSTOMER: IS IT TRUE..?
OWNER: YES OF COURSE..
CUSTOMER: THEN GIVE ME THE FREE 1...
The colonel had three Second Lieutenants eligible for promotion. The problem was, he only had one First Lieutenant Slot available.
The colonel called the first candidate his office and said, "This is a promotion test. If I was to tell you that I wanted a flag pole erected in front of Post HQ by 1500, what would you do?"
The Lt. thought about it for a second, and said, "Sir. I would get a shovel, head for HQ and start digging. "
"You're not ready to be promoted," the Colonel interrupted.
The colonel asked the same question of the next candidate.
"Sir," said the next Lt., "I would fill out a CE work order, making sure I made provisions for the appropriate environmental study and... "
"You are definitely not ready to be promoted," the Colonel said.
The Colonel asked the question of the final candidate.
Without hesitation, the Lieutenant said, "Sir. I would call the First Sergeant, and say, more...
Two weeks after Paisley's transfer into the promotion department, his old boss got a phone call. "You told me Paisley was a responsible worker!" yelled the furious head of promotion.
"Oh, he is." she confirmed. "In the year he worked in my department the computer went down five times and had to be completely reprogrammed, the petty cash got misplaced six times, and I developed an ulcer. And each time, Paisley was responsible.
Tech Support hotlines are not easy work, you get calls from all sorts of idiotic users that apparently can't read a manual, or lack common sense. Here is a transcript of just one such case:Caller "Hello is this Packard Bell Tech support?"Tech "Yes how can I help you?"Caller "The cup holder on front of my computer broke off and it is still under warranty, how do I go about getting it fixed?" Tech "Excuse, you've stumped me. How did you get this cup holder, was it part of some promotion?"Caller "It came with the computer, I don't know of any promotion."Tech "Does it have any markings on it, any names, any symbols?"Caller "Yes, it says 4X!"