Prove Jokes / Recent Jokes
Einstein dies and goes to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter tells him,
“You look like Einstein, but you have NO idea the lengths that some people will go to
sneak into Heaven. Can you prove who you really are? ”
Einstein ponders for a few seconds and asks, “Could I have a blackboard and some chalk? ”
Saint Peter snaps his fingers and a blackboard and chalk instantly appear. Einstein proceeds to describe with arcane mathematics and symbols his theory of relativity.
Saint Peter is suitably impressed. “You really ARE Einstein! ” he says. “Welcome
to heaven! ”
The next to arrive is Picasso. Once again, Saint Peter asks for credentials. Picasso asks, “Mind if I use that blackboard and chalk? ”
Saint Peter says, “Go ahead. ” Picasso erases Einstein's equations and sketches a truly stunning mural with just a few
strokes of chalk.
Saint Peter claps. “Surely you are the great artist you claim to be! ” he says. more...
Asian women have always been exotic. Two guys were arguing about the correct orientation of Japanese women's sex organs. One said that Japanese women have their going from side to side, while the other said it goes vertical, just like everybody else. The argument went on for hours until they decided to settle it once and for all by going to another friend who has a Japanese wife. Surely, he should know! After being told of the subject of the argument, the friend quickly said: "Vertical, just like everybody else", and I'll prove it! Although suspecting that the duo would just feast their eyes on his wife's pussy, he called his wife anyway and she appeared from the second floor bedroom. "Honey, take off your panties and slide down the banister" Like a good obedient wife, she obliged and mounted the banister. On the way down there was a long screeeeeech, and she landed on the floor. See? Didn't I tell you guys that its vertical, just like everybody else? The two more...
Once all the Sardars get disgusted about the large number of jokes that are cracked about them and so they come together in an auditorium to prove to the world that aren`t that silly after all. They call upon one sardar and ask him, "What is 10 plus 10?" After thinking for some time sardarji replies, "25!" The officials to whom they want to prove get disgusted but thousands of sardars in the auditorium start shouting, "Give him another chance!" So the officials ask him again, "What is 5 plus 5?" The sardar replies after thinking for awhile, "30!" Again there`s shouting from the audience, "Give him another chance!" Another question is posed, "What is 2 plus 2?" The sardarji replies after much thought, "4!" Again there is the voice of a thousand shouts, "Give him another chance!
Art: Given one eight-count box of crayons and three sheets of notebook paper, recreate the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. Skin tones should be true to life.
Biology: Create life. Estimate the differences in subsequent human culture if this form of life had developed 500 million years earlier, with special attention to its probable effect on the English Parliamentary System circa 1750. Prove your thesis.
Chemistry: You must identify a poison sample which you will find at your lab table. All necessary equipment has been provided. There are two beakers at your desk, one of which holds the antidote. If the wrong substance is used, it causes instant death. You may begin as soon as the professor injects you with a sample of the poison. (We feel this will give you an incentive to find the correct answer.)
Civil Engineering: This is a practical test of your design and building skills. With the boxes of toothpicks and glue present, build a platform that will wupport your weight more...
A mathematician has spent years trying to prove the Riemann hypothesis - without success. Finally, he decides to sell his soul to the devil in exchange for a proof. The devil promises to deliver a proof within four weeks.
Four weeks pass, but nothing happens. Half a year later, the devil shows up again - in a rather gloomy mood.
"I'm sorry", he says. "I couldn't prove the Riemann hypothesis either. But" - and his face lightens up - "I think I found a really interesting lemma..."
I have a theory that it's impossible to prove anything,
but I can't prove it.
-Ashleigh Brilliant
One day there was a blonde complaining to her best friend.
Blonde: I'm sick and tired of bieng called a dumb blonde!!
Friend: Well you should prove them wrong somehow. Try learning the state capitals!
Blonde: Great idea!
A few days later, thier was a party and the blonde's friend invited her.
Jock: Hey look! Its a dumb blonde!
Blonde: I'm not dumb! I know the state capitals!
Jock: Oh yeah? Prove it! Whats the capital of Montana?
Blonde: Thats easy! It's "M".