Prove Jokes / Recent Jokes
An old man goes into the Social Security Office and fills out an application. Too old to have a birth certificate, he is asked to prove he is old enough.
He opens his shirt and shows them the gray hair on his chest and they accept that as proof. He goes home to his wife, shows her the check, and explains to her what has happened.
She replies, "Well get back down there, pull down your pants, and see if you can get disability!"
Q: What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon? A: They go on peck-nics! Q: What do chickens serve at birthday parties? A: Coop-cakes! Q: What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn? A: An eggroll! Q: What do you call the outside of a hand gren-egg? A: The bombshell! Q: What does an alarm cluck say? A: "Tick-tock-a-doodle-doo!" Q: Why does a chicken coop have two doors? A: Because if had four doors it would be a chicken sedan! Q: How long do chickens work? A: Around the cluck! Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To prove to the possum that it could be done! Q: Why did the turkey cross the road? A: To prove he wasn't chicken! Q: Why did the rooster cross the road? A: To cockadoodle dooo something!
Supermodel Vida Guerra has decided to pose nude for men's magazine Playboy, to demonstrate that her naked photographs on the internet are fake.
It is in that spirit that I publish these topless photos of Jessica Alba.
C'mon Jessica. Prove it.
you are fascinated by the equation.
you know by heart the first fifty digits of.
you have tried to prove Fermat's Last Theorem.
you know ten ways to prove Pythagoras' Theorem.
your telephone number is the sum of two prime numbers.
you have calculated that the World Series actually diverges.
you are sure that differential equations are a very useful tool.
you comment to your wife that her straight hair is nice and parallel.
when you say to a car dealer "I'll take the red car or the blue one" you must add "but not both of them."
None. It's left to the reader as an exercise.
None. The answer is intuitively obvious.
One. He gives it to four programmers, thereby simplifying the problem to a previous question.
How many numerical analysts does it take to change a light bulb?
3. 9967 (after six iterations).
How many mathematical logicians does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They can't do it, but they can easily prove that it can be done.
How many classical geometers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. You can't do it with a straight edge and a compass.
How many analysts does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to prove existence, one to prove uniqueness and one to derive a nonconstructive algorithm to do it.
How many number theorists does it take to change a light bulb?
I don't know the exact number, but I am sure it must be some rather elegant prime.
Einstein dies and goes to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter tells him, "You look like Einstein, but you have no idea the lengths some people will go to sneak into Heaven. Can you prove you're Albert Einstein?"
Einstein ponders for a few seconds and then asks, "Can I have a blackboard and some chalk?" Saint Peter snaps his fingers and a blackboard and chalk instantly appear. Einstein proceeds to describe, in arcane mathematics and symbols, his theory of relativity.
Saint Peter is suitably impressed. "You really ARE Einstein!" he says. "Welcome to heaven!"
The next to arrive is Picasso. Once again, Saint Peter asks for credentials. Picasso asks, "Mind if I use that blackboard and chalk?"
Saint Peter says, "Go ahead."
Picasso erases Einstein's equations and sketches a truly stunning mural with just a few strokes of chalk. Saint Peter claps. "You are definitely the great artist you claim to more...