Psychiatrist Jokes / Recent Jokes

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.

Blonde and a Psychiatrist
A blonde is speaking to her psychiatrist.
"I'm on the road a lot, and my clients are complaining that they can never reach me."
Psychiatrist: "Don't you have a phone in your car?"
Blonde: "That was a little too expensive, so I did the next best thing. I put a mailbox in my car."
Psychiatrist: "Uh. .. How's that working?"
Blonde: "Actually, I haven't gotten any letters yet."
Psychiatrist: "And why do you think that is?"
Blonde: "I figure it's because when I'm driving around, my zip code keeps changing."

one day a woman arrived in a psychiatrist's office carrying a duck under her arm.
"What seems to be th problem" asked the psychiatrist sympathetically?
"Well," she said,' It's not me, it's my husband. He thinks he's a duck".

The attractive young woman lay back on the psychiatrist's couch. "Oh, Doctor," she said, "$j§ can't believe it. I've just married for the thirds time, and I'm still a virgin/'
"Still a virgin!" gasped the doctor as he stared at the beautiful woman. "My word, how can this be?"
"Well," the woman sighed, "my first husband was a professor, and he only talked about it. My second husband was a physician, and he only looked at it."
"And your third husband?" asked the doctor. "What's his problem?"
"He's a gourmet."

A man walks into a dentist's and says, "Can you help me? I think I'm a moth."
The dentist says, "You need a psychiatrist, mate."
The man says, "Yes, I know."
The dentist replies, "Well, why have you come in here?"
"Your light was on!"

A distraught man went to a psychiatrist and exclaimed, "Doctor, I believe that I am possessed by an evil spirit." After talking to the patient at some length, the psychiatrist said, "You do appear to have a problem. I'd like to see you again next Wednesday." After a second session of psychotherapy, the psychiatrist pronounced his patient completely cured. For the next nine months, the psychiatrist sent the man a monthly statement for his professional services, but the man wouldn't pay and refused to acknowledge the debt. Finally, the psychiatrist took the man to court and had him repossessed.

I've been feeling down for so long that I finally decided to seek the aid of a psychiatrist.
I went there, laid on the couch, spilled my guts then waited for the profound wisdom of the psychiatrist to make me feel better.
The psychiatrist asked me a few questions, took some notes then sat thinking in silence for a few minutes with a puzzled look on his face.
Suddenly, he looked up with an expression of delight and said, "Ummmmm, I think your problem is low self-esteem. It is very common among losers."