Psychic Jokes / Recent Jokes

Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack? Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game," when we are already there? Why do your feet smell and your nose runs? Why do you need an appointment to see a psychic...shouldn't they already know you're coming? Why does it take 15 minutes to cook minute rice? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why don't they just use fattest man in the world for a hockey goalie? Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"? Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist? Why is it called a "building" when it is already built? Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin? Why is it that bullets ricochet off of Superman's chest, but he ducks when the gun is thrown at him? Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons? Why was more...

A lonely frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline and asked what hisfuture holds. His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him: "You are going to meet abeautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you." The frog is thrilled, "This is great!"Will I meet her at a party?" he croaks." No," says the psychic, "in biology class."

A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and is told, "You are
going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything
about you."

The frog says, "This is great! Will I meet her at a party, or what?"

"No," says the psychic. "Next semester in her biology class."

A frog telephones a psychic hotline and is told, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."

"Great," says the frog. "Will I meet her at a party?"

"No," said the psychic, "Next year - in biology class."

What do you call a short psychic on the lam?
~~~
A small medium at large!

Osama bin Laden goes to a psychic who says "You will die on an American holiday" Needless to say bin Laden is shocked. "Which one?" he asks. "Doesn't matter", says the psychic. "Whatever day you die will become an American holiday."

A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and is told, “You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you. ”
The frog says, “This is great! Will I meet her at a party, or what? ”
“No, ” says the psychic. “Next semester in her biology class. ”