Pull Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Brunette, a Redhead, and a Blonde escape a burning building by climbing to the roof. The Firemen are on the street below, holding a blanket for them to jump into. The firemen yell to the Brunette, "Jump! Jump! It's your only chance to survive!"The Brunette jumps and SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away... theBrunette slams into the sidewalk like a tomato." C'mon! Jump! You gotta jump!' say the firemen to the Redhead." Oh no! You're gonna pull the blanket away!" says the Redhead." No! It's Brunettes we can't stand! We're OK with Redheads!""OK" says the Redhead, and she jumps. SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away, and the lady is flattened on the pavement like a pancake. Finally, the Blonde steps to the edge of the roof. Again, the firemen yell "Jump! You have to jump!""No way! You're just gonna pull the blanket away!" yelled the Blonde." No! Really! You have to jump! We won't pull the blanket more...

Two blondes were working on a house. The one who was nailing down siding would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in.
The other blonde, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, "Why are you throwing those nails away?"
The first blonde explained, "If I pull a nail out of my pouch and it's pointed TOWARD me, I throw it away' cause it's defective. If it's pointed toward the HOUSE, then I nail it in!"
The second blonde got completely upset and yelled, "You MORON!!! The nails pointed toward you aren't defective! They're for the OTHER side of the house!!!"

Two morons were working on a house. The one who was nailing down siding would reach into his nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over his shoulder or nail it in.
The other nut, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, "Why are you throwing those nails away?"
The first explained, "If I pull a nail out of my pouch and it's pointed TOWARD me, I throw it away' cause it's defective. If it's pointed toward the HOUSE, then I nail it in!"
The second got completely upset and yelled, "You MORON!!! The nails pointed toward you aren't defective! They're for the OTHER side of the house!!"

Instructions for the guys:
1. Pull up to ATM
2. Insert Card
3. Enter PIN
4. Take cash, card and receipt
5. Drive away
Instructions for the Gals:
1. Pull up to ATM
2. Back up and pull forward to get closer
3. Shut off engine
4. Put keys in purse
5. Get out of car because you're too far from machine
6. Hunt for card in purse
7. Insert card
8. Hunt in purse for grocery receipt with PIN written on it
9. Enter PIN
10. Study instructions
11. Hit "CANCEL"
12. Re-enter correct PIN
13. Check balance
14. Look for envelope
15. Look in purse for pen
16. Make out deposit slip
17. Endorse checks
18. Make deposit
19. Study instructions
20. Make cash withdrawal
21. Get in car
22. Check makeup
23. Look for keys
24. Start car
25. Check makeup
26. Start pulling away
27. Stop
28. Back up to machine
29. Get out of car
30. Take card and receipt
31. more...

Fred's convertible glided to a halt on the edge of a lonely country road.
"I suppose," said his pretty but reluctant date, "you're going to pull the old' out of gas' routine."
"No," said Fred, "I'm going to pull the' here after' routine."
"The' here after' routine-----what's that?", she wanted to know.
"If you're not here after what I'm here after, you'll be here after I'm gone."

Instructions for the guys:1. Pull up to ATM2. Insert Card3. Enter PIN4. Take cash, card and receipt5. Drive awayInstructions for the Gals:1. Pull up to ATM2. Back up and pull forward to get closer3. Shut off engine4. Put keys in purse5. Get out of car because you're too far from machine6. Hunt for card in purse7. Insert card8. Hunt in purse for grocery receipt with PIN written on it9. Enter PIN10. Study instructions11. Hit "CANCEL"12. Re-enter correct PIN13. Check balance14. Look for envelope15. Look in purse for pen16. Make out deposit slip17. Endorse checks18. Make deposit19. Study instructions20. Make cash withdrawal21. Get in car 22. Check makeup23. Look for keys24. Start car25. Check makeup26. Start pulling away27. Stop28. Back up to machine29. Get out of car30. Take card and receipt31. Get back in car32. Put card in wallet33. Put receipt in checkbook34. Enter deposits and withdrawals in checkbook35. Clear area in purse for wallet and checkbook36. Check makeup37. Put more...

This guy goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. There he sees a parrot with a red string tied to its left leg and a green string tied to it's right leg. He asks the owner the significance of the strings. "Well, this is a highly trained parrot. If you pull the red string he speaks French; if you pull the green string he speaks German," replies the shop keeper. "And what happens if I pull both the strings?" our curious shopper inquires. "I fall off my perch you fool!!" screeches the parrot.