Puppies Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day a little boy and his father were walking through the park and they saw two dogs having sex. The little boy asks, "Daddy, what are they doing?"
His father replies, "Umm... they're making puppies. Yeah they're making puppies."
The little boy says, "Oh." And they go home.
A few days later the little boy walked in on his mother and father having sex. The little boy asks, "Daddy, what are you doing?"
The boys father replies, "We're umm..making babies. Yeah we're making babies"
"Oh," says the little boy. "Roll over mommy, I want puppies!"

The following were actually taken from classified ads in newspapers: Free Yorkshire Terrior. 8 years-old. Hateful little dog. - ---------------------------------Free Puppies: 1/2 Cocker Spaniel1/2 Sneaky Neighbor's Dog----------------------------------Free Puppies: Part German ShepherdPart Stupid Dog----------------------------------German Shepherd - 85lbs. Neutered. Speaks German. Free!----------------------------------1 Man, 7 Women hot tub -- $850/offer----------------------------------Amana Washer $100. Owned by clean bachelor who seldom washed. - ---------------------------------Snow blower for sale. Only used on snowy days. - ---------------------------------2 Wire mesh butchering gloves: 1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, pair $15. - ---------------------------------Tickle Me Elmo, Still in Box, Comes with its own1988 Mustang, 5L, AutoExcellent Condition, $6, 800. - ---------------------------------83 Toyota Hunchback -- $2, 000----------------------------------Star Wars Job of the Hut -- more...

The following were actually taken from classified ads in newspapers:Free Yorkshire Terrior.8 years-old. Hateful little dog.
Free Puppies:1/2 Cocker Spaniel1/2 Sneaky Neighbor's Dog
Free Puppies:Part German ShepherdPart Stupid Dog
German Shepherd - 85lbs.Neutered. Speaks German. Free!
1 Man, 7 Women hot tub - $850/offer
Amana Washer $100.Owned by clean bachelor who seldom washed.
Snow blower for sale.Only used on snowy days.
2 Wire mesh butchering gloves:1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, pair $15.
Tickle Me Elmo, Still in Box, Comes with its own1988 Mustang, 5L, AutoExcellent Condition, $6,800.
83 Toyota Hunchback - $2,000
Star Wars Job of the Hut - $15
Soft & Genital Bath Tissuesor Facial Tischue - $.89
Full-Sized Mattress20 Year WarrantyLike New! Slight urine smell.
FREE 1 Can of Pork & BeansWith Purchase of 3 BR / 2 BTH Home
Nordic Track $300Hardly used. Call Chubbie.
Bill's Septic Cleaning"We Haul American Made more...

The President is running down the street one day, and he sees a little girl who is giving away puppies that her dog just had.
He goes up to the girl and says, "Little girl, I think that it's wonderful that you're doing such a good thing."
The little girl says, "Thank you, Mr. Clinton. Would you like a puppy? They're Democrats."
Bill declines and jogs onward. The next day Billy jogs past the same girl and decides to talk to her again. "You know what, little girl? I think I'll take one of those puppies after all, seeing as how they're Democrats."
The girl says, "I'm sorry Mr. Clinton, but they're not Democrats any more. They're Republican now."
Bill says, "They are? How do you know? As a matter of fact, how did you know that they were Democrats at first to begin with?"
She says, "Well, just after they were born they were Democrats, but now their eyes are open."

The President is running down the street one day, and he sees a little girl who is giving away puppies that her dog just had.

He goes up to the girl and says, "Little girl, I think that it`s wonderful that you`re doing such a good thing."

The little girl says, "Thank you, Mr. Clinton. Would you like a puppy? They`re Democrats."

Bill declines and jogs onward. The next day Billy jogs past the same girl and decides to talk to her again. "You know what, little girl? I think I`ll take one of those puppies after all, seeing as how they`re Democrats."

The girl says, "I`m sorry Mr. Clinton, but they`re not Democrats any more. They`re Republican now."

Bill says, "They are? How do you know? As a matter of fact, how did you know that they were Democrats at first to begin with?"

She says, "Well, just after they were born they were Democrats, but now their eyes are open."

The following appeared recently in the Anderson SC Independent Mail classifieds:
2 female Boston Terrier puppies, 7 wks old, Perfect markings, 555-1234. Leave mess.
Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.
A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms.
Dinner Special - Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.
For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.
Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.
Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.
Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory.
Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night.
We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
For Sale. Three canaries of undermined sex.
For Sale - Eight puppies from a German Shepperd and an Alaskan Hussy.
Great more...

This man, his wife and their Border Collie, Maisy were out for a drive in the country one afternoon in their new convertible, with the top down. The husband and wife were enjoying the scenery as they drove along. While unbeknownst to them, Maisy gave birth to seven puppies while laying on the back seat of the automobile. The couple continued to drive along, unaware of the new arrivals. Soon the road began to deteriorate and was beginning to become quite rough. Suddenly, the car ran over a deep pothole in the road, and one of Maisy's puppies bounced up and out of the car, landing on the roadway just in front of a police car that had been following the man and his wife. The police officer switched on his lights and siren, and soon had the couple pulled over to the side of the road. What are you pulling me over for? Queried the startled driver. The officer responded, "I pulled you over for creating a "Road Hazard, for other drivers!" What hazard? Asked the man. "A more...