Pushups Jokes

A Cucumber a Pickle and a penis are sitting around talking about how difficult each of their lives are. The cucumber says "I have it the toughest i get chopped up and put into salads." The pickle responds " well i get put into a jar for months filled with my own urine." The Penis looks at them both and laughs at them "You guys have it easy" "I get shoved into dark caves 4 days of the week and have to do pushups until i puke."

A man walks into a bar and throws down a bet. 100 dollars to anyone who can do 100 pushups. A man disappears outside and returns minutes later. "I'll take that bet" the man says, and collapses after 50 pushups. "I don't get it", he says," I just did 150 outside!"

One day a boy came in late for the first day of school and the teacher asked why he was late and he said, "I was doing naked pushups on Blueberry Hill" and the teacher told him to sit down. Then another boy came in and the teacher asked him why he was late and he said, "I was doing naked pushups on Blueberry Hill" and the teacher told him to sit down. last came a girl and the teacher said "let me guess, you were doing naked pushups on Blueberry Hill and the little girl said "no, I am Blueberry Hill".

One cucumber was telling another "my life is miserable, as soon as I get firm and hard, someone slices me up and puts me in a salad."
The other cucumber said "yeah well, my life is worse, as soon as I get firm and hard, someone puts me in a jar with vinegar and garlic and pickles me."
A penis was listening to this conversation and chimes in, "my life is worse than both of yours, as soon as I get firm and hard, someone puts a bag over my head and makes me do pushups 'til I puke."

After completing his run through the park, Wallace threw himself on the grass and did some pushups. Just then a moron happened by.
"I hate to say it," the moron offered, "But I think she slipped away,"