Quotas Jokes / Recent Jokes

The handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile.
Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document.
Remember, when you gotta cuff 'em ..nobody is your friend.
If you run, you'll only go to jail tired.
Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second?(if you aren't a shooter, that is the average speed of a 9mm projectile (slug)).
So, you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?
Yes sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?
Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket.
The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?
God made tomorrow for the crooks we don't catch today.
Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets more...

The handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."So, you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"Yes sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?"Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."Life's tough, it's tougher if you're stupid."No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."Just how big were those two beers? In God we trust, all others are suspects."

The handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."
"Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
"Life's tough, it's tougher if you're stupid."
"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
"So, you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"
"No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."
"Just how big were those two beers?
"Yes sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"
"Warning! You want a warning? O. K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a more...

"The handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile." "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired." "So, you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?" "Yes sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?" "Warning! You want a warning? O. K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket." "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?" "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven." "Life's tough, it's tougher if you're stupid." "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want." "Just how big were those two beers?" In God we more...

"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired.""The handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile.""So, you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?""No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want.""Warning! You want a warning? Okay, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket.""Life's tough, it's tougher if you're stupid.""In God we trust, all others are suspects."