Radio Jokes / Recent Jokes
Strange and silly things to do while driving. We do not advise doing any of the below "things to do while driving", as all driving should be taken seriously. The below "things to do while driving" are simply here for entertainment purposes. Vary your vehicle`s speed inversely with the speed limit. Roll down your windows and blast talk radio. Attempt to headbang. At stop lights, eye the person in the next car suspiciously. With a look of fear, lock your doors. Two words: Chicken suit. Write the words "Help me" on your back window in red paint. The more it looks like blood, the better. Have conversations, looking periodically at the passenger seat, when driving alone. Laugh a lot. A whole lot. Stop at the green lights. Go at the red ones. Occasionally wave a stuffed animal/troll doll/Barbie out your window or sunroof. Feel free to make it dance. Eat food that requires silverware. Pass cars, then drive very slowly. Sing without having the radio on. Honk more...
You may be an engineer if...
If you stare at an orange juice container because it says CONCENTRATE
If your wrist watch has more computing power than a 486DX-50
If you can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie
If you can name 6 Star Trek episodes
If your spouse sends you an e-mail instead of calling you to dinner
If your idea of good interpersonal communication means getting the decimal point in the right place
If you look forward to Christmas only to put together the kids'toys
If you use a CAD package to design your son's Pine Wood Derby car
If you have used coat hangers and duct tape for something other than hanging coats and taping ducts
If you window shop at Radio Shack
If your ideal evening consists of fast-forwarding through the latest sci-fi movie looking for technical inaccuracies
If you are convinced you can build a phaser out of your garage door opener and your camera's flash attachment
If you don't even know where the more...
If the Norse God Thor were to call-in to a sports talk radio show, I think the first thing he would say would be something like this..."Umm...Yea... The last caller kinda stole my thunder"...
A little monster was learning to play the violin,' I'm good, aren't I?' he asked his big brother.' You should be on the radio,' said his brother.' You think I'm that good?'' No, I think you're terrible, but if you were on the radio, I could switch you off!
You may want to compile a list of Radio "one-liners" like:
WKDU: More static, more of the time...
You're listening to WKDU. No one else is, but you are.
This is KFJC and you are listening to our hour-long music-free commercial sweep.
WQHS. 73 on your AM dial. Or, if you have an expensive radio, 730.
Are your friends laughing at you? Maybe it's because you are not listening to WQHS, 730 on your AM dial, on the University of Pennsylvania campus. Or maybe it's because you're ugly.
This has been xxx at KFJC reminding you that animals are your friends, but they won't pick you up at the airport.
WKDU: Broadcasting with TEN MILLION microwatts of POWER!
Hi. This is Swamp Thing and we say that you should listen to WQHS because... because... well, do you REALLY have anything better to do?
Did you hear about the two radio antenhnas that got married?
The wedding was terrible, but the reception was excellent!
There was a blonde driving down the road listening to the radio. The announcer was telling blonde joke after blonde joke until the blonde was mad enough she turned her radio off. A mile down the road, she saw another blonde out in a corn field in a boat rowing. The blonde stopped her car jumped out and yelled, "You bimbo, it's blondes like you that give us all a bad name. If I could swim I'd come out there and give you what's coming to you!"