Raft Jokes

One day there was this preacher and he was having his usual sermon when all of a sudden it started raining, really, really, hard!!! After about 1 full hour of complete non-stop rain, they started making evacuations because the whole church was flooding, but the preacher just stood there in the ankle-deep water.
A guy in a car came up to him and said. "Preacher, Preacher you better get in here before you drown!"
But the preacher just replied "Don't worry God will save me."
The man then said "Whatever!" and drove away.
The water was now knee-deep and a guy in a raft came over to the Preacher and said "Preacher, Preacher you better get in here before you drown!"
Despite the second warning the Preacher just stood there and replied "Don't worry God will save me."
The man then said "Whatever!!" and rowed away in the orange raft.
The water was now waist-deep and a guy in a power boat came to the Preacher more...

This ethnically disadvantaged male person goes into the travel agency and proclaims, "I've seen your ad about a $99.00 trip to Hawaii, and I'd like to go."
The travel agent says, "Listen, friend, this is my first day here, but I know about all the details of that crumby $99.00 offer, and believe me, you DON'T want it. Take the next best offer, which is only $1,399.00."
"Oh, no you don't," says the Polak, "you're not going to catch ME with that bait and switch. The ad says '$99.00 to Hawaii,' and THAT's what I want."
"Okay," says the agent, who takes a baseball bat from under the desk and hits the Polak in the head. The Polak wakes up a few hours later, on a raft out in the Pacific Ocean!
He looks around, and there's NOTHING, only he and another Polak on the raft.
"What are we going to do?" cries our hero, "surely they'll send a ship for us."
"I don't think so," responds his more...

A doctor, a priest, and a lawyer are adrift on a raft in the south Pacific. They're just about out of water, food, and hope, when they spot a small island. Only problem is, between the raft and the island is a large hungry school of tiger sharks.
The doctor insists, "I'll swim for the island and bring back coconuts and maybe even help. If the sharks attack me, with my medical knowledge I'll be able to tend to my wounds."
The priest says, "No, no my son, I shall swim for the island. I will pray as soon as I hit the water and with my connections I'm sure to make it."
While the doctor and priest are arguing over who is to go, the lawyer dives into the water and swims toward the island. Miraculously, the sharks move away and clear a path for the attorney.
A little while later, the barrister retruns to the raft with a lovely bunch of coconuts. And again the sharks clear a path for him.
He finally gets to the raft and the bewildered doctor and priest more...

[email protected] swears this really happened to him...
OK. Here goes. I was 17, and had mentioned to my father that I was thinking
of buying a rubber boat for use as a scuba platform. My father managed to
get me one from the F.A.A. where he worked. (Don't ask, I never did).
What he brought me was one of those Air Force survival rafts that they issue
to bomber crews with up to 10 men. I couldn't wait to test it, so I called
Jason, and told him to come on over. I took the back seat out of my VW bug,
and laid the seat back down. This makes a VW bug kind of like a hatch back
without the hatch. Jason got over to my place, just as our girlfriends showed
up. They had come over to see if we wanted to go swimming. I crammed the
raft, and both girls in the back of the VW (it was really tight), and Jason
in the passenger seat up front, and took off.
I got onto IH35 in Oklahoma
City to head for one of the area lakes. The windows more...

This ethnically disadvantaged male person goes into the travel agency and proclaims, "I've seen your ad about a $99. 00 trip to Hawaii, and I'd like to go."
The travel agent says, "Listen, friend, this is my first day here, but I know about all the details of that crumby $99. 00 offer, and believe me, you DON'T want it. Take the next best offer, which is only $1, 399. 00."
"Oh, no you don't," says the Polak, "you're not going to catch ME with that bait and switch. The ad says `$99. 00 to Hawaii,' and THAT's what I want."
"Okay," says the agent, who takes a baseball bat from under the desk and hits the Polak in the head. The Polak wakes up a few hours later, on a raft out in the Pacific Ocean!
He looks around, and there's NOTHING, only he and another Polak on the raft.
"What are we going to do?" cries our hero, "surely they'll send a ship for us."
"I don't think so," responds more...