Rain Jokes / Recent Jokes
A few year ago, we invited some friends over for a christmas party. Many of my colleagues were there, and many of them are German. Helmut, Franz, and Rudolf were there.
I was talking to Rudolf about his belief in the superiority of the communist party. I grew tired of the discussion so I motioned towards the window and commented on the weather. "I believe it's snowing".
"No, it looks to wet to be snow," he said.
The argument went back and forth for a few minutes: rain, snow, rain, snow. ..
Then my wife came over and settled the argument for us. She said: "Rudolf the Red knows rain, dear."
1) A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to cleanse his wounds.
2) If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.
3) Nothing is too tight for Madhuri.
4) The hero cannot fall in love with the heroine (vice versa) unless they first perform a dance number in the rain.
5) Once applied, make-up is permanent, in rain or in any other situation.
6) Village girls who live among cows and sheep have perfect skin and teeth.
7) A large group of goondas can be shooting at the hero, but he will never be hit, unless of course he is attempting to save the chick.
8) A large group of goondas can be shooting at the hero with machine guns, yet they will always miss. Every shot the hero takes from his small revolver will knock down at least ten opponents in a line.
9) If you decide to start dancing in a field, everyone you more...
Not an idiot, but plays one in his life.
Not as dumb as he looks, but that would be impossible.
Not digging in the same ditch with the rest of us.
Not done evolving yet.
Not enough brain cells for the Prozac to be effective.
Not enough brains to get anywhere NEAR the gutter.
Not enough change to break a dollar/pound/deutschmark/yen.
Not enough sense to come in out of the rain.
Not enough sense to stay out in the rain. (Like a 60’s flower child.)
Not firing on all four/six/eight cylinders.
Not firmly seated in the socket / screwed in tight.
Not hard-docked.
Not inflated to 90 PSI.
Not Intel Inside. (Or, given Pentium problems, just: Intel inside.)
Not much to show for four billion years of evolution.
1) A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to cleanse his wounds.
2) If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.
3) Nothing is too tight for Madhuri.
4) The hero cannot fall in love with the heroine (vice versa) unless they first perform a dance number in the rain.
5) Once applied, make-up is permanent, in rain or in any other situation.
6) Village girls who live among cows and sheep have perfect skin and teeth.
7) A large group of goondas can be shooting at the hero, but he will never be hit, unless of course he is attempting to save the chick.
8) A large group of goondas can be shooting at the hero with machine guns, yet they will always miss. Every shot the hero takes from his small revolver will knock down at least ten opponents in a line.
9) If you decide to start dancing in a field, everyone you bump into will know all the steps, and will be more...
The Lord spoke to Noah and said, "Noah, in six months I am going to make it rain until the whole world is covered with water and all the evil things are destroyed. But, I want to save a few good people and two of every living thing on the planet. I am ordering you to build an ark." And, in a flash of lightning, he delivered the specifications for the ark.
"OK," Noah said, trembling with fear and fumbling with the blueprints, "I'm your man."
"Six months and it starts to rain," thundered the Lord. "You better have my ark completed or learn to swim for a long, long time!"
Six months passed, the sky began to cloud up, and the rain began to fall in torrents. The Lord looked down and saw Noah sitting in his yard, weeping, and there was no ark.
"Noah!" shouted the Lord, "where is My ark?" A lightning bolt crashed into the ground right beside Noah.
"Lord, please more...
A Russian couple was walking down the street in St. Petersburg the other night, when the man felt a drop hit his nose. "I think it's raining," he said to his wife.
"No, that felt more like snow to me," she replied. "No, I'm sure it was just rain, he said." Well, as these things go, they were about to have a major argument about whether it was raining or snowing. Just then they saw a minor communist party official walking toward them. "Let's not fight about it," the man said, "let's ask Comrade Rudolph whether it's officially raining or snowing."
As the official approached, the man said, "Tell us, Comrade Rudolph, is it officially raining or snowing?"
"It's raining, of course," he answered and walked on. But the woman insisted: "I know that felt like snow!" To which the man quietly replied: "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!"