Ramp Jokes

Three old pilots are walking on the ramp. First one says, "Windy, isn`t it?"
Second says, "No, its Thursday!"
Third one says, "So am I. Lest go get a beer."

Air Force One comes in for a landing at the airport. A ramp is wheeled up and President Clinton appears carrying a pig under each arm.
As he comes down the ramp, the Marine at the bottom snaps to a salute.
Clinton says, "You'll have to excuse me. I can't return your salute. My hands are full."
"Yes Sir. I see the pigs Sir!" responds the Marine.
"Now hold on," says Clinton. "These aren't just pigs. These are genuine Arkansas Razorbacks."
"Yes Sir! Razorbacks Sir!" says the Marine.
"I got this one for Chelsea and this one for Hillary," Clinton explains.
The Marine answers, "Yes Sir! An excellent trade if I may say so myself Sir!"

At the Boeing Museum of Flight in Seattle, there is a full-size mockup of an F/A-18 fighter.

A ramp allows visitors to climb into the cockpit and get a sense of what the pilot sees and feels.

A guide at the top of the ramp points out the various controls and gauges in the cockpit and gives information about the aircraft's capabilities to each visitor who gets in.

When my two-year-old son sat down in the plane, he seemed fascinated by all he saw and heard.

Then he looked out at us and said, "Grandma, could I have a quarter?"

How does the captain know the aircraft is safely at the ramp?

Both the engines and the co-pilot stop whining.

We do not advise following any of the below driving rules to any extent. Driving should be taken seriously at all times. The below jokes are simply here for entertainment purposes.
When using a metered entrance ramp, vehicles in the carpool lane do not need to stop. Similarly, vehicles NOT in the diamond lane also do not need to stop.
If, at any time, you have witnessed a green light, it is okay to proceed through the intersection, regardless of the current color of the light.
The shoulder becomes a lane if you are driving a Porsche.
If you paid more than $60, 000 for your car, you automatically have the right of way, regardless of the situation. This is especially applicable in parking lots.
Drive as quickly as possible through parking structures. Pass any open spot by at least four car lengths before backing up to claim it. Disregard the angry mob that has formed behind you.
Get to know your horn. Use it as often as possible.
While driving on the more...