Ranch Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two sisters, one a brunette and the other a blonde, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a couple of years, they find themselves in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull which will enable them to breed their own stock. The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $500 to a ranch out west where a man has a prize bull for sale. As she’s leaving for the other ranch, she tells her sister, “When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I’ll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home. ”
The brunette arrives at the man’s ranch, checks the bull out, and decides that she does want to buy it. The man tells her that she can buy it for $499, no less. She pays him and then drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She enters the telegraph office, and says, “I’d like to send my sister a telegram telling her that I’ve bought a bull for our more...

A New York family bought a ranch out west where they intended to raise cattle. Friends came to visit and asked if the ranch had a name.' 'Well,'' said the would-be-cattleman.' 'I wanted to call it the Bar-J, my wife favored the Suzy-Q, one son liked the Flying-W, and the other son wanted the Lazy-Y. So, we're calling it the Bar-J-Suzy-Q-Flying-W-LazyY.''

''But, where are all your cattle?''

''None have survived the branding.''

A guy takes his greenhorn wife hunting on a ranch. When they reach their deer blinds, the guy says, "If you shoot a deer, be sure not to let somebody else say he's the one who shot it. Otherwise, he'll take the deer from you. The deer belongs to whoever shoots it." The guy goes to his own blind. Ten minutes later, he hears his wife shooting from her blind nearby. He rushes over and finds her pointing her rifle at a cowboy who's hollering, "Awright, lady, awright-you can have the goddamn deer! Just lemme get my saddle off it!"

A lady buys a ranch comes . She doesnt know what to name the puppy so she decides to take a walk and see if she can think of a name. She walks into town and hears a man calling "THis guy has a hairy butt, this guy has a hairy butt." so the lady decides to name her ranch Hairy Butt. The lady then buys a puppy from a travelling passerbyer. The lady doesnt know what to name the animal so she decides to take a walk and find a name. She is walking along when she hears a bridge going CRACK! CRACK! The lady decides to name her puppy Crack. The next day the puppy is missing. The lady goes into town to find her puppy. She comes to a policeman and says "I looked all over my Hairy Butt but I cant find my Crack.

Judi went to a "Dude Ranch" on vacation. The cowboy
preparing the horses asked if she wanted a Western or
English saddle.
Judi asked what the difference was.
"Well, one has a horn and the other doesn't."
"Just get the one without the horn. I don't think
we'll run into too much traffic out here."

Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.
The brunette balances their checkbook, then decides to take their last 600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale. Upon leaving, she tells her sister, "If I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home." The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to sends her sister a telegram. She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pick-up truck and drive out here so we can haul it home." The telegraph operator explains that more...

two sisters, a blonde and a brunette inherrit
a ranch of their parents when they died. But to keep the ranch going they need a bull.
the brunette sees an advertisement in the local newspaper for a bull. So she tells her blonde sister that she will drive up for the bull and if it is right she will phone her and tell her to bring up the trailer.
when the brunette gets ther with her $100 she decides that the bull is just right and phones her blonde sister. but the phone is $1 per word and she only has $1 left . so she thinks for a while and then she decides that the word she is going to say is comfortable. the man at the telephone is curios and asky why on earth have you chosen that word she replies
my sister is blonde she will break the word down _ com-for-da-bull