Ranch Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Pastor was walking past a pet shop one day when he noticed a sign in the window: "Christian Horse for Sale." Being that the Pastor owned a large ranch, he was immediately interested, and went into the shop. The owner took the Pastor out to the back, where he saw a beautiful Arabian stallion. He agreed to allow the Pastor to take a "test run." The Pastor grabbed the reins. "giddyap." The horse ignored him. "no, no," counseled the owner. This is a Christian horse. If you want him to move, you must say, "Praise the Lord!" The Pastor did as he was told, and the horse started off on a leisurely walk. However, he soon found that the horse would not stop. "He won't answer to' Whoa', said the owner. It's "Amen." The Pastor decided that he liked the horse, so he bought him and took him home to his ranch in the country. He saddled the horse up again, said, "Praise the Lord," and went riding into the countryside. more...

A cattle rancher was dying, and had to divide his ranch up amongst his three
sons. They wanted a new name for the ranch, and the dying rancher suggested
"Focus", because that's where the "sons raise meat" (suns rays meet)

My wife and I went to a "Dude Ranch" while in Texas.

The cowboy preparing the horses asked if she wanted a Western or English saddle, and she asked what the difference was.

He told her one had a horn and one didn't.

She replied, "The one without the horn is fine. I don't expect we'll run into too much traffic."

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock. The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale. Upon leaving, she tells her sister,''When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home.'' The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and says,' 'I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pick-up truck and more...

A New York family bought a ranch out West where they intended to raise cattle. Friends came to visit and asked if the ranch had a name.
"Well," said the would-be-cattleman. "I wanted to call it the Bar-J. My wife favored the Suzy-Q. One son liked the Flying-W, and the other son wanted the Lazy-Y. So, we're calling it the Bar-J-Suzy-Q-Flying-W-Lazy-Y."
"But where are all your cattle?"
"So far, none have survived the branding."

A New York family bought a ranch out West where they intended to raise cattle. Friends visited and asked if the ranch had a name.
"Well," said the would-be cattleman, "I wanted to name it the Bar-J. My wife favored Suzy-Q, one son like the Flying-W, and the other wanted the Lazy-Y. So we're calling it the Bar-J-Suzy-Q-Flying-W-Lazy-Y."
"But where are all your cattle?" the friends asked.
"None survived the branding."

A New York family bought a ranch out West where they intended to raise cattle. Friends visited and asked if the ranch had a name."Well," said the would-be cattleman, "I wanted to name it the Bar-J. My wife favored Suzy-Q, one son like the Flying-W, and the other wanted the Lazy-Y. So we're calling it the Bar-J-Suzy-Q-Flying-W-Lazy-Y.""But where are all your cattle?" the friends asked."None survived the branding."