Raven Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: What do you get when you cross a raven with a mad dog? A: A ravin lunatic.

I understand that a crow has one less pinion feather than a raven. Therefore how do you tell a crow from a raven? It's a matter of opinion. I duck walks into a drug store and buys a chapstick. The clerk sez, "Will that be cash or charge?" The duck sez, "Just put it on my bill!" Two vultures were in the desert eating a dead clown. The first vulture asks the second vulture: "Does this taste funny to you?" Why do hummingbirds hum? Because they don't know the words. Why did the gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens foot. I took my bird to the vet because he was sick. The vet said I have bad news and good news. The bird has chirpees, the good news is that it is tweetable! Why did the chicken cross the road? To prove to the Opossum that it could be done! What does a 1, 000 lb. canary say? Here kitty, kitty, kitty! What did the bird say as it was flying over K-Mart? "Cheap - cheap - cheap" What do you get when you run over a bird with your more...

The End of the Raven

By Edgar Allen Poe's Cat

On a night quite unenchanting,
when the rain was downward slanting,
I awakened to the ranting of the man I catch mice for.
Tipsy and a bit unshaven, in a tone I found quite craven,

Poe was talking to a Raven perched
above the chamber door.
' Raven's very tasty,' thought I,
as I tiptoed o'er the floor,
' There is nothing I like more'

Soft upon the rug I treaded,
calm and careful as I headed
Towards his roost atop that dreaded
bust of Pallas I deplore.
While the bard and birdie chattered,
I made sure that nothing clattered,
Creaked, or snapped, or fell, or shattered,
as I crossed the corridor;
For his house is crammed with trinkets,
curios and wierd decor -
Bric-a-brac and junk galore.

Still the Raven never fluttered,
standing stock-still as he uttered,
In a voice that shrieked and more...