Reach Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man is in the hospital and he gets a hard on and it is 6 feet in the air. So he hits the button for the nurse. She finally comes in and he tells her there is a fly on the end of his dick and he can't reach it. So she tries and can't reach it. So she finally decides to climb it so she climbs and is almost st the top and she slides all the way down. She tries again and slides back down. Ny now she is getting frustrated and tries again. And she slides back down. She tells the man she will try 1 more time and he says " nurse, if you climb your sweet ass up one more time I will shoot that sonovabitch off

Last night, an incident took place at Boat Quay. What happened was some idiot was trying to show off and declared that he would swim across the Singapore River. He jumped in and started swimming. But before he could reach the halfway mark, he started to panic and started to shout for help. Being typical Singaporeans, a crowd started to gather to watch and yet no attempt was made by anybody to save that poor chap. Suddenly there was a splash and the crowd turned to see a guy doing what seemed like a desperate attempt to reach the drowning victim. It was clear that this hero couldn't swim! Luckily a tongkang filled with tourists was passing by and the operator saw the incident and picked both men from the water. The crowd cheered! Back on shore, the crowd cheered again as the hero stepped off the tongkang. "Steady Lah! " and "Awright, man! " were among the many congratulations shouted. The hero looked angry and shouted "Ka ni na! Siang too wa loh chui?" more...

A new greeting card is outselling traditional holiday cards in Hallmark stores across Kansas, Alabama, and Texas. Happy End of Days cards depict a firey well consuming horned demons and horney politicians, while angels, including a winged Pat Robertson, ascend to the clouds.

A musical card is also available playing Auld Lang Syne with new verses. "Should Auld Acquaintance have sinned and never live again, we wish you warmer weather then as we reach the end of days. For Auld Lang Syne my friend, for Auld Lang Syne, we'll share a cup of manna yet as we reach the end of days.

A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section of the plane. The stewardess rushes over to her and tells her she must move to coach because she doesn't have a first class ticket. The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a good job, and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica."
The disgusted stewardess gets the head stewardess who asks the blonde to leave. The blonde yet again repeats "I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a good job and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica." The head stewardesses doesn't even know what to do at this point because they still have to get the rest of the passengers seated to take off; the blode is causing a problem with boarding now, so the stewardess gets the copilot.
The copilot goes up to the blonde and whispers in her ear. She immediately gets up and goes to her seat in the coach section. The head stewardess asks the copilot in amazement what he said to get her to move to her more...

A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section of the plane. The stewardess rushes over to her and tells her she must move to coach because she doesnt have a first class ticket. The blonde replies, "Im blonde, Im smart, I have a good job, and Im staying in first class until we reach Jamaica."The disgusted stewardess gets the head stewardess who asks the blonde to leave. The blonde yet again repeats "Im blonde, Im smart, I have a good job and Im staying in first class until we reach Jamaica." The head stewardesses doesnt even know what to do at this point because they still have to get the rest of the passengers seated to take off; the blode is causing a problem with boarding now, so the stewardess gets the copilot. The copilot goes up to the blonde and whispers in her ear. She immediately gets up and goes to her seat in the coach section. The head st ewardess asks the copilot in amazement what he said to get her to move to her correct seat. more...

A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section of the plane. The stewardess rushes over to her and tells her she must move to coach because she doesn't have a first class ticket. The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a good job, and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica."The disgusted stewardess gets the head stewardess who asks the blonde to leave. The blonde yet again repeats "I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a good job and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica." The head stewardesses doesn't even know what to do at this point because they still have to get the rest of the passengers seated to take off; the blode is causing a problem with boarding now, so the stewardess gets the copilot.The copilot goes up to the blonde and whispers in her ear. She immediately gets up and goes to her seat in the coach section. The head stewardess asks the copilot in amazement what he said to get her to move to her correct more...

Two sari-clad ladies went out to do some shopping. One of them is known as Lady Mathematical (LM) and the other one as Lady Logical (LL). It is getting dark and they are still far away from their homes.
LL: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past half-hour?
LM: Yes, I wonder what he wants.
LL: It's logical. He wants to rape us.
LM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most. What can we do?
LL: The only logical thing to do of course is that we have to start walking faster.
LM: It is not working.
LL: Of course it is not working. The man did the only obvious thing to do.
He started to walk faster too.
LM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.
LL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow both of us. So the man decided to go after lady Logical.
Lady Mathematical arrives home and is worried because Lady more...