Reactions Jokes

Here are the reactions when somebody leaves a glass of milk next to the keyboard.
Optimist:
The glass is half full.
Pessimist:
The glass is half empty.
Apple Computer:
You guys really oughta be drinking Perrier.
Assembly programmers:
No thanks; I drink straight from the cow.
Basic programmers:
No thanks; I'm still breast feeding.
Bill Gates:
Not enough market share to be Microsoft Milk.
C Programmers:
No thanks; I drink straight from the jug.
CIA:
What makes you think that's milk?
National news media:
Hey, we wanted OJ!
Non-procedural language programmers:
I drank it when nobody was looking.
NSA:
We know what it really is.
Paranoid:
Here is a glass just sitting here. Why? Who put it here? WHY WHY WHY!!! SOMEONE IS TRYING TO KILL ME!!!!!
Pascal programmers:
Well, what type of milk is it?
Pentium users:
I drank Glass *. 49999999. . . but don't hold more...

This is supposedly true story from a recent Defence Science Lectures Series, as related by the head of the Australian DSTO's Land Operations/Simulation division.

They've been working on some really nifty virtual reality simulators, the case in point being to incorporate Armed Reconnaisance Helicopters into exercises (from the data fusion point of view). Most of the people they employ on this sort of thing are ex- (or future) computer game programmers.

Anyway, as part of the reality parameters, they include things like trees and animals. For the Australian simulation they included kangaroos. In particular, they had to model kangaroo movements and reactions to helicopters (since hordes of disturbed kangaroos might well give away a helicopter's position).

Being good little programmers, they just stole some code (which was originally used to model infantry detachments reactions under the same stimuli), and changed the mapped icon, the speed parameters, more...

This is supposedly a true story from a recent Defence Science Lectures
Series, as related by the head of the Australian DSTO's Land
Operations/Simulation division.
They've been working on some really nifty virtual reality simulators, the
case in point being to incorporate Armed Reconnaissance Helicopters into
exercises (from the data fusion point of view). Most of the people they
employ on this sort of thing are ex- (or future) computer game programmers.
Anyway, as part of the reality parameters, they include things like trees
and animals. For the Australian simulation they included kangaroos. In
particular, they had to model kangaroo movements and reactions to
helicopters (since hordes of disturbed kangaroos might well give away a
helicopter's position).
Being good programmers, they just stole some code (which was originally used
to model infantry detachments reactions under the same stimuli), and changed
the mapped icon, the more...