Recieved Jokes

I Don't Think He'll Win Any Popularity Contests...
... On Monday morning it was determined to arrest "the Greaser," Joe Pizzanthia, and to see precisely how his record stood in the Territory... A party started for his cabin, which was built on a side-hill. The interior looked darker than usual from the bright glare of the surrounding snow. The smmons to come forth being disregarded, Smith Ball and George Copley entered, contrary to the advice of their comrades, and instantly recieved the fire of their concealed foe. Copley was shot through the breast. Smith Ball recieved a bullet in the hip. They both staggered out, each ejaculating, "I'm shot." Copley was led off by two friends, and died of his wound. Smith Ball recovered himself, and was able to empty his six shooter into the body of the assassin, when the latter was dragged forth.
The popular excitement rose nearly to madness. Copley was a much-esteemed citizen, and Smith Ball had many friends. It was more...

A man walking along the beach found a bottle. When he rubbed it, lo and behold, a genie appeared.
"I will grant you three wishes," announced the genie. "But there is one condition. I am a lawyer's genie. That means that for every wish you make, every lawyer in the world gets the wish as well--only double."
The man thought about this for a while. "For my first wish, I would like ten million dollars," he announced.
Instantly the genie gave him a Swiss bank account number and assured the man that 10, 000, 000 had been deposited. "But every lawyer in the world has just recieved 20, 000, 000," the genie said.
"I've always wanted a Ferrari," the man said. "That's my second wish."
Instantly a Ferrari appeared. "But every lawyer in the world has just recieved two Ferraris," the genie said. "And what is your last wish?"
"Well," said the man, "I've always wanted to donate more...

Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is. AST technical support had a called complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in. Another Compaq technician recieved a call from a man complaining that the system wouldn''t read word processing files from his old diskettes. After trouble-shooting for magnets and heat failed to diagnose the problem, it was found that the customer labeled the diskettes then rolled them into the typewriter to type the labels. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with Xeroxed copies of the disk. A Dell technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppy back in the drive and close the door. The customer asked the tech to hold on, and was heard putting the phone down, getting more...

Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is. AST technical support had a called complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.Another Compaq technician recieved a call from a man complaining that the system wouldn''t read word processing files from his old diskettes. After trouble-shooting for magnets and heat failed to diagnose the problem, it was found that the customer labeled the diskettes then rolled them into the typewriter to type the labels.Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with Xeroxed copies of the disk.A Dell technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppy back in the drive and close the door. The customer asked the tech to hold on, and was heard putting the phone down, getting up more...

Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is. AST technical support had a called complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.

Another Compaq technician recieved a call from a man complaining that the system wouldn``t read word processing files from his old diskettes. After trouble-shooting for magnets and heat failed to diagnose the problem, it was found that the customer labeled the diskettes then rolled them into the typewriter to type the labels.

Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with Xeroxed copies of the disk.

A Dell technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppy back in the drive and close the door. The customer asked the tech to hold on, and was heard more...