Recognize Jokes / Recent Jokes

A very dirty little fellow came in from playing in the yard and asked his mother, "Who am I? "
Ready to play the game she said, "I don't know! Who are you?"
"WOW!" cried the child. "Mrs. Johnson was right! She said I was so dirty, my own mother wouldn't recognize me.

Three blondes were witnesses to a crime, so they went to the police station to identify the suspect. The police chief said he would show them a mug shot of someone for thirty seconds, then ask each one for a description. After showing the photo to the first blonde, he covered it, then asked her how she would recognize the suspect.
"Easy," she replied. "He only has one eye."
The chief was stunned. "He only has one eye because it is a profile shot! Think about it!" He repeated the procedure for the second blonde and again asked how she would recognize him.
"He only has one ear," was her answer.
"What is the matter with you people?!? It is a profile shot! You are seeing him from the side!" He repeated the procedure for the third blonde, then said, "How would you recognize the suspect? Now think before you give me a stupid answer."
After viewing the photo, she thought for a minute, then said, "He's more...

Three blondes were witnesses to a crime, so they went to the police station to identify the suspect. The police chief said he would show them a mug shot of someone for thirty seconds, then ask each one for a description. After showing the photo to the first blonde, he covered it, then asked her how she would recognize the suspect. ''Easy,'' she replied. ''He only has one eye.'' The chief was stunned. ''He only has one eye because it is a profile shot! Think about it!'' He repeated the procedure for the second blonde and again asked how she would recognize him. ''He only has one ear,'' was her answer. ''What is the matter with you people?!? It is a profile shot! You are seeing him from the side!'' He repeated the procedure for the third blonde, then said, ''How would you recognize the suspect? Now think before you give me a stupid answer.'' After viewing the photo, she thought for a minute, then said, ''He's wearing contact lenses.'' This took the chief by surprise. He looked real hard more...

A policeman was interrogating 3 blondes who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first blonde a picture for 5 second and then hides it. "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"

The 1st blonde answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"

The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture shows his profile."

Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the 2nd blonde and asks her, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"

The 2nd blonde giggles, flips her hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"

The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?? Of course only one eye and one ear are SHOWING because it's a picture of his profile!! Is that the best answer you can come up more...

Back in the 1970s on the classic TV game show “Match Game,” host Gene Rayburn would read a question that began “Dumb Dora is so dumb...” – and the studio audience would immediately chime in: “How dumb is she?”

Well, I work for a woman named D. And D is so dumb...okay, it’s your cue to chime in: “How dumb is she?”

This is how dumb. For the newsletter where I toil, I had to write about a none-too-special PR campaign involving a well-known apparel distributor that worked with a constellation of sweatshops spread across the so-called developing world. (Side note: just when is the developing world actually going to develop?) Anyway, I needed a headline to justify the story of how this company mended its way (sorry for the pun) and made its sweatshops a lot nicer.

So I came up with the headline “As Ye Sew...” – an obvious spin on the expression “As ye sow, so shall ye reap.” Now I thought that was nice, but D was totally confused and more...

A policeman was interrogating 3 blondes who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first blonde a picture for 5 second and then hides it."This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"The first blonde answers, "Thats easy, well catch him fast because he only has one eye!"The policeman says, "Well... uh... thats because the picture shows his PROFILE."Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second blonde and asks her, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"The second blonde giggles, flips her hair and says, "Ha! Hed be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"The policeman angrily responds, "Whats the matter with you two?? Of course only one eye and one ear are SHOWING because its a picture of his profile!! Is that the best ans wer you can come up with?"Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows more...

How do you recognize a Sardar in School?

He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.