Refrigerator Jokes / Recent Jokes

Yo mama's like a refrigerator, everyone sticks their meat in her.

Q: Why do married men gain weight while bachelors don't?
A: Bachelors go to the refrigerator, see nothing they want, then go to bed. Married guys go to the bed, see nothing they want, then go to the refrigerator.

This quiz consists of four questions that tell you whether or not
you are qualified to be a professional. SCROLL DOWN FOR THE
ANSWERS. There is no need to cheat. The questions are not that
difficult. You just need to think like a professional.
1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
..




The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the
giraffe and close the door.
This question tests whether or not you are doing simple things in
a complicated way.
2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
..



Incorrect answer: Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant and
close the door.






Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator remove the giraffe and put
in the elephant and close the door. This question tests your
foresight.
3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the
animals attend except one. Which more...

Law of Cat Inertia - A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force - such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.
Law of Cat Motion - A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction.
Law of Cat Magnetism - All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric.
Law of Cat Thermodynamics - Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, in which case all heat flows to the cat.
Law of Cat Stretching - A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just taken.
Law of Cat Sleeping - All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as uncomfortable for the people involved, and as comfortable as possible for the cat.
Law of Refrigerator Observation - If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and take out something good to more...

College Classes For Men: 1. Introduction to Common Household Objects I: The Mop2. Introduction to Common Household Objects II: The Sponge3. Dressing Up: Beyond the Funeral and the Wedding4. Refrigerator Forensics: Identifying and Removing the Dead5. Design Pattern or Splatter Stain on the Linoleum?: You CAN Tell the Difference! 6. If It's Empty, You Can Throw It Away: Accepting Loss I7. If the Milk Expired Three Weeks Ago, Keeping It In the Refrigerator Won't Bring It Back: Accepting Loss II8. Going to the Supermarket: It's Not Just for Women Anymore! 9. Recycling Skills I: Boxes that the Electronics Came In10. Recycling Skills II: Styrofoam that Came in the Boxes that the Electronics Came In11. Bathroom Etiquette I: How to Remove Beard Clippings from the Sink12. Bathroom Etiquette II: Let's Wash Those Towels! 13. Bathroom Etiquette III: Five Easy Ways to Tell When You're About to Run Out of Toilet Paper! 14. Giving Back to the Community: How to Donate 15-Year-Old Levis to the more...

It got crowded in heaven, so, for one day it was decided only to accept people who had really had a bad day on the day they died.
St. Peter was standing at the pearly gates and said to the first man, "Tell me about the day you died."
The man said, "Oh, it was awful. I was sure my wife was having an affair, so I came home early to catch her with him. I searched all over the apartment but couldn't find him anywhere. So I went out onto the balcony, we live on the 25th floor, and found this man hanging over the edge by his fingertips. I went inside, got a hammer, and started hitting his hands. He fell, but landed in some bushes. So, I got the refrigerator and pushed it over the balcony and it crushed him. The strain of the act gave me a heart attack, and I died."
St. Peter couldn't deny that this was a pretty bad day, and since it was a crime of passion, he let the man in.
He then asked the next man in line about the day he died.
"Well, sir, it more...

It was getting a little crowded in heaven, so God decided to change the admittance policy.
The new law was that, in order to get into heaven, you had to have a real bummer of a day when you died. The policy would go into effect at noon the next day.
The next day at 12:01, the first person comes to the gates of heaven.
The angel at the gate, remembering the new policy, promptly says to the man,
'Before I let you in, I need you to tell me how your day was going when you died.'
'No problem,' the man says. 'I came home to my 25th floor apartment in my lunch hour and caught my wife half-naked and appearing to be having an affair, but her lover was nowhere in sight. I immediately began searching for him. My wife was yelling at me as I searched the entire apartment. Just as I was about to give
up, I happened to glance out onto the balcony and noticed that there was a man hanging off the edge by his fingertips! The nerve of that guy!
'Well, I ran out onto the more...