Refund Jokes / Recent Jokes
You Know You're Having a Bad Day When...
Your horn sticks on the freeway behind 32 Hell's Angels motorcyclists.
You've been at work 3 hours before you notice that your fly is open or your blouse unbuttoned.
Your twin sister forgets your birthday.
Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.
You call the suicide prevention hotline and they put you on hold.
You have to sit down to brush your teeth in the morning.
Everyone avoids you the morning after the company office party.
Your income tax refund check bounces.
The bird singing outside your window is a vulture.
You wake up and your braces are stuck together.
Your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife/husband.
You put both contacts into the same eye.
Your mother approves of the person you're dating.
Your doctor tells you that you're allergic to more...
Your horn sticks on the freeway behind 32 Hell's Angels motorcyclists. You've been at work 3 hours before you notice that your fly is open or your blouse unbuttoned. Your twin sister forgets your birthday. Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles. You call the suicide prevention hotline and they put you on hold. You have to sit down to brush your teeth in the morning. Everyone avoids you the morning after the company office party. Your income tax refund check bounces. The bird singing outside your window is a vulture. You wake up and your braces are stuck together. Your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife/husband. You put both contacts into the same eye. Your mother approves of the person you're dating. Your doctor tells you that you're allergic to chocolate. You have to borrow from your Visa card to pay your Mastercard. Nothing you own is actually paid for. Everyone loves your driver's licence picture, but you think it looks awful. The health inspector condems more...
Your horn sticks on the freeway behind 32 Hell's Angels motorcyclists. You've been at work 3 hours before you notice that your fly is open or your blouse unbuttoned. Your twin sister forgets your birthday. Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles. You call the suicide prevention hotline and they put you on hold. You have to sit down to brush your teeth in the morning. Everyone avoids you the morning after the company office party. Your income tax refund check bounces. The bird singing outside your window is a vulture. You wake up and your braces are stuck together. Your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife/husband. You put both contacts into the same eye. Your mother approves of the person you're dating. Your doctor tells you that you're allergic to chocolate. You have to borrow from your Visa card to pay your Mastercard. Nothing you own is actually paid for. Everyone loves your driver's licence picture, but you think it looks awful. The health inspector condems more...
A woman goes into Wal-Mart and tells the clerk she wants a refund for the toaster she bought because it doesn't work. The clerk tells her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special. All of a sudden, the woman throws her arms up in the air and starts screaming! "GRAB MY BREASTS! GRAB MY BREASTS!"
The clerk, not knowing what to do, runs to get the store manager. The manager comes up to the Woman and asks, "What's wrong?"
She explains the situation with the toaster. He tells her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special. Once again, the woman throws her arms up in the air and starts screaming, "GRAB MY BREASTS! GRAB MY BREASTS!"
In shock, the store manager pleads, "Ma'am, why are you saying that?" In a huff, the woman says, "BECAUSE, I LIKE TO HAVE MY BREASTS GRABBED WHEN I'M GETTING SCREWED!"
My daughter & I had just finished a salad at Neiman-Marcus Cafe in Dallas & decided to have a small dessert. Because both of us are such cookie lovers, we decided to try the "Neiman-Marcus Cookie". (EDITORIAL COMMENT: Neiman's is a VERY EXPENSIVE Department store).
It was so excellent that I asked if they would give me the recipe and the waitress said with a small frown, "I'm afraid not". "Well", I said, "would you let me buy the recipe?" With a cute smile, she said, "Yes." I asked how much, and she responded, "only two fifty, it's a great deal! " I said with approval, "just add it to my tab."
Thirty days later, I received my VISA statement from Neiman-Marcus and it was $285. 00. I looked again and I remembered I had only spent $9. 95 for two salads and about $20. 00 for a scarf. As I glanced at the bottom of the statement, it said, "Cookie Recipe $250. 00."
That's more...
Yo mama so stupid she got a peep hole in a glass door. Yo mama so stupid she thought an aspiration was butt sweat. Yo mama so stupid she looks at a can of juice for days' cause it says concentrate. Yo mama so stupid she thinks Taco Bell is a Mexican phone company. Yo mama so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl. Yo mama so stupid you have to dig for her IQ!. Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved! Yo mama so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order! Yo mama so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight! Yo mama so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund! Yo mama so stupid that she sold the car for gas money. Yo mama so stupid that she ran into an automatic sliding door. Yo mama so stupid that she tried to drown a fish. Yo mama so stupid she asked you "What is the number for 911" Yo mama so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept. Yo mama so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out. Yo mama so more...