Refund Jokes / Recent Jokes
A woman went into a department store and told the clerk that she wanted to return a toaster for refund because it didn't work. The clerk told her that he couldn't give her a refund because she bought it on special.
All of a sudden the woman threw her arms up and yelled, "Grab my Breasts! Grab my breasts!"
The clerk didn't know what to do, so he called the store manager who asked her if he can help.
She explained that she wanted to return the nonworking toaster for refund, and he told her that he would not give her a refund because she bought the toaster on special.
Once again she yelled, "Grab my breasts! Grab my breasts!"
The manager was taken aback and asked her why she was yelling that particular phrase.
She replied, "Because I like my breasts grabbed when I'm getting screwed!"
ONCE we had gone to the theatre. A couple with a baby was sitting by our side. The baby started crying loudly and disturbed other spectators. An attendant came and said, If you cannot keep the baby quiet, you will have to leave. We will refund your money.'
The lady put the baby to her breast and he fell quiet. The play was very boring. At the end of the second act, my neighbour said to his wife,' Pinch the baby and get it to howl.'
A blonde buys a thermos. Two days later, she's back in the shop and wants a refund. The sales person asks her why she's returning it. She replies, "Well, when I bought it, you said it would keep hot things hot and cold things cold, but yesterday I took some coffee and ice-cream to work for after lunch, and all that came out was a luke-warm slush!"
~~You Know You're Having a Bad Day When... ~~
1. Your horn sticks on the freeway behind 32 Hell's Angels motorcyclists.
2. You've been at work 3 hours before you notice that your fly is open or your blouse unbuttoned.
3. Your twin sister forgets your birthday.
4. Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.
5.You call the suicide prevention hotline and they put you on hold.
6.You have to sit down to brush your teeth in the morning.
7.Everyone avoids you the morning after the company office party.
8. Your income tax refund check bounces.
9. The bird singing outside your window is a vulture.
10. You wake up and your braces are stuck together.
11. Your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife/husband.
12. Your mother approves of the person you're dating.
13. Your doctor tells you that you're allergic to chocolate.
14. The Gypsy fortune teller offers to refund your money when she sees your future.
15. People think more...
Yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes Yo mama so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends Yo mama so stupid when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon Yo mama so stupid she told everyone that she was "illegitiment" because she couldn't read Yo mama so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind Yo mama so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl Yo mama so stupid you have to dig for her IQ! Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved! Yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes! Yo mama so stupid that she tried to put M+M's in alphabetical order! Yo mama so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone! Yo mama so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money! Yo mama so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight! Yo mama so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund! Yo mama so stupid she took a cup to see more...
She goes into Wal-Mart and tells the clerk she wants
a refund for the toaster she bought because it doesn't
work.
The clerk tells her that he can't give her a refund
because she bought it on special.
All of a sudden, the woman throws her arms up in
the air and starts screaming!
"GRAB MY BREASTS! GRAB MY BREASTS!
The clerk, not knowing what to do, runs to get the
store manager. The manager comes up to the Woman and
asks, "What's wrong?"!
She explains the situation with the toaster.
He tells her that he can't give her a refund because
she bought it on special.
Once again, the woman throws her arms up in the air
and starts screaming,
"GRAB MY BREASTS! GRAB MY BREASTS!"
In shock, the store manager pleads, "Ma'am,
why are saying you that?"
In a huff, the woman says,
"BECAUSE, I LIKE TO HAVE MY BREASTS GRABBED
WHEN I'M GETTING SCREWED!