Regis Jokes / Recent Jokes

Finally having scraped together enough money for a trip to the Bahamas, the college student arrived, only to learn that the hotel at which he'd wanted to stay, the St. Regis, charged two hundred dollars a day. Although that included a continental breakfast, the pool, and free golf, he simply couldn't afford that much money. Dragging his gear around town, he finally found a hotel every bit as lovely but only cost fifty dollars a day. Settling in, he decided to get in a few rounds of golf before sunset.
Bringing his clubs to the hotel course, he went to buy a three-pack of balls from the pro shop.
"That will be a hundred dollars," said the man behind the counter.
"What!" screamed the guest. "That's outrageous! They're free at the St. Regis!"
"Yes," said the clerk, "but over there, they get you by the rooms."

Regis: "Barbara, you've done very well so far - $500, 000 and one lifeline left -- phone a friend. The next question will give you the top prize of One Million dollars if you get it right. .. but if you get it wrong you will drop back to $32, 000 -- are you ready?" Barbara: "Sure, I'll have a go!" Regis: "Which of the following birds does not build it's own nest? Is it........ A-Robin B-Sparrow C-Cuckoo D-Thrush Remember Barbara its worth 1 Million dollars." "I think I know who it.. but I'm not 100%... No, I haven't got a clue. I'd like to phone a friend Regis, just to be sure. Regis: "Yes, who, Barbara, do you want to phone? Barbara: "I'll phone my friend Maggie back home in Birmingham." (ringing) Maggie (also a blonde): "Hello..." Regis: "Hello Maggie, its Regis here from Who Wants to be a Millionaire-I have Barbara here and she is doing really well on $500, 000, but needs your help to be a Million. The next voice you more...

A blonde named Barbara is appearing on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire...
Regis: "Barbara, you've done very well so far -$500, 000 and one life line left -- phone a friend. The next question will give you the first ever Million dollars if you get it right... but if you get it wrong you will drop back to $32, 000 -- are you ready?"
Barbara: "Sure I'll have a go"
Regis: "Which of the following birds does not build its own nest? Is it...
A-Robin
B-Sparrow
C-Cuckoo
D-Thrush.
"Remember Barbara its worth 1 Million dollars.
Barbara: " I think I know who it... but I'm not 100%... No, I haven't got a clue. I'd like to phone a friend Regis just to be sure."
Regis: "Yes, who, Barbara, do you want to phone?
Barbara: "I'll phone my friend Carol back home in Brooklyn." (ringing)
Carol (also a blonde): "Hello..."
Regis: "Hello Carol, it's Regis Philbin here from Who more...

The Bird Question A blonde named Pam is appearing on “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” with Regis Philbin. Regis: “Pam, you’re up to $500, 000 with one lifeline left: phone a friend.
If you get it right, the next question is worth one million dollars. If you get it wrong, you drop back to $32, 000. Are you ready? ” Pam: “Yes. ”
Regis: “Which of the following birds does not build its own nest?
Is it A) robin, B) sparrow, C) cuckoo, or D) thrush. ”
Pam: “I’d like to phone a friend. I’d like to call Carol. ”
Carol (also a blonde) answers the phone: “Hello? ”
Regis: “Hello Carol, it’s Regis Philbin from Who Wants to be a Millionaire. I have your friend Pam here who needs your help to answer the one million dollar question. The next voice you hear will be Pam’s…”
Pam: “Carol, which of the following birds does not build it’s own nest?
Is it A) robin, B) sparrow, C) cuckoo, or D) thrush. ” Carol: “Oh geez, more...

A blond named Pam is appearing on "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" with Regis Philbin
Regis: "Pam, you're up to $500,000 with one lifeline left: phone a friend. If you get it right, the next question is worth one million dollars. If you get it wrong, you drop back to $32,000. Are you ready?"
Pam: "Yes."
Regis: "Which of the following birds does not build its own nest? Is it A) robin, B) sparrow, C) cuckoo, or D) thrush."
Pam: "I'd like to phone a friend. I'd like to call Carol."
Carol (also a blond) answers the phone: "Hello?"
Regis: "Hello Carol, it's Regis Philbin from Who Wants to be a Millionaire. I have your friend Pam here who needs your help to answer the one million dollar question. The next voice you hear will be Pam's..."
Pam: "Carol, which of the following birds does not build it's own nest? Is it A) robin, B) sparrow, C) cuckoo, or D) thrush."
Carol: "Oh more...

Regis: "Barbara, you've done very well so far - $500,000 and one lifeline left - phone a friend. The next question will give you the top prize of One Million dollars if you get it right... but if you get it wrong you will drop back to $32,000 - are you ready?" Barbara: "Sure, I'll have a go!" Regis: "Which of the following birds does not build it's own nest? Is it... A-Robin B-Sparrow C-Cuckoo D-Thrush Remember Barbara its worth 1 Million dollars." "I think I know who it..but I'm not 100%... No, I haven't got a clue. I'd like to phone a friend Regis, just to be sure. Regis: "Yes, who, Barbara, do you want to phone? Barbara: "I'll phone my friend Maggie back home in Birmingham." (ringing) Maggie (also a blonde): "Hello..." Regis: "Hello Maggie, its Regis here from Who Wants to be a Millionaire-I have Barbara here and she is doing really well on $500,000, but needs your help to be a Million. The next voice you hear will be more...