Millionaire Jokes

I was watching Joe Millionaire. How could someone's last name be Millionaire? Although, I'm not sure you'd get made fun of for it. And the whole thing was rigged. Its obvious he was going to get a million dollars. His last name was Millionaire for gosh sakes!

A miserable-looking man was sitting in a bar one night.

"Why are you looking so sad?" asked the barman.

"My wife's made me a millionaire." said the man.

"If my wife made me a millionaire, I'd be the happiest man on earth", said the barman.

"Yes, but before I met her I was a multimillionaire."

One Night After Watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire...
A man and his wife went to bed and the man was getting very frisky. He asked his wife if she was in the mood.
His wife answered, "Not tonight dear, I have a headache."
The man replied, "Is that your final answer?"
She said "Yes."
"OK, then I'd like to phone a friend." he replied.

Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?"

Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."

Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman.

Interviewer: "What were you before you married her?"

Millionaire: "A Billionaire"

An unemployed man goes to apply for a job with Microsoft as a janitor. The manager there arranges for him to take an aptitude test (Section: Floors, sweeping and cleaning). After the test, the manager says, "You will be employed at minimum wage, $5.15 an hour. Let me have your e-mail address, so that I can send you a form to complete and tell you where to report for work on your first day. Taken aback, the man protests that he has neither a computer nor an e-mail address. To this the MS manager replies, "Well, then, that means that you virtually don't exist and can therefore hardly expect to be employed. Stunned, the man leaves. Not knowing where to turn and having only $10 in his wallet, he decides to buy a 25 lb flat of tomatoes at the supermarket. Within less than 2 hours, he sells all the tomatoes individually at 100% profit. Repeating the process several times more that day, he ends up with almost $100 before going to sleep that night. And thus it dawns on him that he more...