Relate Jokes / Recent Jokes

Part 1 (Introduction) - (Original Author: nobody@hangout. rutgers. edu)
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Back in the good old days - the "Golden Era" of computers, it was easy to separate the men from boys
(sometimes called "Real Men" and "Quiche Eaters" in the literature). During this period, the Real Men were
the ones that understood the computer programming, and the Quiche Eaters were the ones that didn't. A
real computer programmer said things like "DO 10 I=1, 10" and "ABEND" (they actually talked in capital
letters, you understand), and the rest of world said things like "computers are too complicated for me" and
"I can't relate to computers - they are so impersonal". (A previous work [1] points out that Real Men don't
relate to anything, and aren't afraid of being impersonal.)
But, as usual, times change. We are faced today with a world more...

Can any of you relate to these "addiction" quips? I sure can
The last time you looked at the clock it was 11:30pm, and in what seems like only a few seconds later, your little sister runs past you to catch her 7am school bus.
The remote to the T.V. is missing...and you don't even care.
You begin to wonder how your ISP can call 400 hours per month "unlimited!"
You ask a plumber if he could replace the chair in front of your computer with a toilet.
The last girl you picked up was a 800x66 jpeg.
You never have to deal with busy signals when calling your ISP...because you never log off!
Your wife makes a new rule: "The computer cannot come to bed with us."
You tell the kids they can't use the computer because "Daddy's got work to do" and you don't even have a job.
You scan restroom stall for hot HTML addresses.
You have comandeered your teenager's phone line for the net and even his friends know not to call on more...

Can any of you relate to these "addiction" quips? I sure can :)The last time you looked at the clock it was 11:30pm, and in what seems like only a few seconds later, your little sister runs past you to catch her 7am school bus.The remote to the T.V. is missing...and you don't even care.You begin to wonder how your ISP can call 400 hours per month "unlimited!"You ask a plumber if he could replace the chair in front of your computer with a toilet.The last girl you picked up was a 800x66 jpeg.You never have to deal with busy signals when calling your ISP...because you never log off! Your wife makes a new rule: "The computer cannot come to bed with us."You tell the kids they can't use the computer because "Daddy's got work to do" and you don't even have a job.You scan restroom stall for hot HTML addresses.You have comandeered your teenager's phone line for the net and even his friends know not to call on his line anymore.You check your email. It more...

Are you a tehcnical geek?
Do you have a problem with overdoing your technical activities? Many do. Take the following test to see if you are compulsive. If you can relate to 2 of the items, you may have a problem with Techno-Dweeb. If you relate to 3 or more, you are definitely a Techno-Dweeb. Do not despair! There is help! You are not alone! Whenever you feel the urge to code in Assembler, call the number in the white pages of your phone book, and we will send somebody right over to cut out paper dolls with you until the feeling passes.
You know you are a tehcnical geek when. . .
When your friend tells you all about his Cressida V6 and you reply "Yeah, I had V5, and it was full of bugs!"
When driving you see a license plate with the letters DSR, and you feel compelled to touch your bumper to the other car to see if you can raise CD.
When you are counting objects "0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, A, B, C, D...".
When you lay down in the more...

Why does Michael Jackson relate so well to children?
He knows how they feel.
What did Michael Jackson exclaim when he say he returned from the health spa?
I feel like a new boy.
Where does Michael Jackson look for dates?
Boys' R Us.