Remarkable Jokes / Recent Jokes

Aries

The Ram. Their farts are "Built Ram Tough". They may feel like Curly-Qs coming out of their asses because their farts mimic the curves of a ram's horns. They, the farts, sometimes like to butt heads with other farts. Since people born under the sign of Aries show strong leadership and like to get things started, they are always the first ones to fart while around other people. Their farts tend to be loud since they are energetic. Do you like to hear robust farts? Too shy to be the first one to fart? Get with an Aries.

Taurus

The Bull. Their farts can be very stubborn, and once released, they can stink up a space with power for very long periods of time-longer than average. Their farts just don't want to go away. Their farts can even be kinda sharp and hurt their *******s when they come out, because they are big and mimic the sharp horns of the bull. Since Taurus people love sensual pleasures, they must take care not to over-indulge and more...

The Jewish mother
The remarkable thing about my mother is that for twenty years she served us nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.

A friend of ours has just told us about a remarkable ploy that's used by an aging and wealthy man-about-town. He dates only the most beautiful girls and confides to each of them that he suffers from a heart condition (not true). Then he takes them home to his magnificent estate, where they are properly dazzled by the quantity and quality of his possessions. He hints at the vast extent of his fortune. Then comes the clincher: he tells each wide-eyed, open-mouthed girl that, by the terms of his will, all his money and possessions go to whomever is with him at the time of his death. Then, so he claims, the girl usually does her level best to kill him with kindness.

As the two golfers were approaching the first tee, one of them goes in his golf bag and pulls out a green golf ball. Turning to his friend, he says, "Here George, try this ball. You can't lose it."
"What do you mean, you can't lose it?" asks George.
"Seriously, you can't lose it," replies the first golfer. "Hit it into the woods and it makes a beeping sound. Hit it into the water and it produces bubbles. Hit it on the fairway and smoke comes up so you can find it."
"Gee, that's remarkable! Where did you get that ball?" George asks.
"I found it!" answers the first golfer.