Removes Jokes / Recent Jokes

One night a man decides to visit his local bar. He takes a seat and orders a beer. After polishing off his beer, he beckons the bartender over and says, "Betcha $20 I can bite my eye." The bartender scoffs and accepts. The man then calmly removes his false eye and bites it. The bartender grudgingly forks over a twenty.
Later that night, after a few more beers, the man wanders back to the bar and says rather drunkenly, "Hey barkeep, betcha another $20 I can bite my other eye." Wanting to win back his money and seriously doubtful that the man has two false eyes, the bartender accepts. The man calmly removes his false teeth and bites his other eye. Scowling, the bartender hands over another twenty. The man leaves and wanders around the bar as he drinks a few more beers.
He strolls back over to the bar, leaning on it, again and calls the bartender, "Hey, barkeep," he burbles, "I'll give you a chance to win yer money back plus. Betcha $100 if you more...

A father one day notices that his son is coming of age. He decides to take his son into town to learn the facts of life from a skilled women. They ride into town from the Australian outback and tie up at the local cathouse.The father sends his son upstairs. When the son is alone with the lady, she takes off her skirt. The son picks up a chair and thows it out the window. The lady thinks this is a bit odd, but she takes off her shirt. The son throws a lamp out the window. The woman removes her bra, the son tosses the table. Finally, the women removes her shorts; the son tosses the bed out the window.The lady can no longer contain her curiosity; she exclaims, "What in the heck are you doing?!"The son explains, "Well, if this is anything like kangaroos, we're going to need an awful lot of room!"

There was an elderly couple that was on their way for a 2 week vacation on a carribean cruise. The wife, unfortunately, forgot her hearing aides at home... Upon arriving to the cabin that was to be theirs during the trip, they noticed that it had 2 bunk beds. So, as they were retiring for the first nite, the husband says to his wife, "Up, or down?". The wife inexplicably removes all her clothing and makes love to her husband all nite long. The next nite, the husband wonders if he'll get lucky again... So, he says to his wife, "Up, or down?" She again removes all her clothing and makes love to him all nite long. This continues for 2 glorious weeks. When they arrive home from their trip, the wife retrieves her hearing aides. As they retire for the first nite home, the husband decides to try the magic words again... "Up, or down?" His wife says, "What?". To which he replies, "During the whole trip, my dear, I said those words every nite and more...

One day, a man goes to a hotel. There is only one room left; room #30. Wondering what was the problem with that room, he agrees to use that room and is shown the room. He is left with a warning: To never look under the rug.
That night, he can't sleep. He's wondering what's under the rug. So he gets up, and peeks under the rug.
It's a trapdoor. "OK, I can live with that," he says to himself, and goes to bed.
The next night, he can't sleep. He's wondering what's under the trapdoor. So he gets up, removes the rug, and opens the trapdoor.
He sees a really, really long staircase. "OK, I can
live with that," he says to himself, closes the trapdoor, replaces the rug, and goes to bed.
The next night, he can't sleep. He's wondering what's after the staircase. So he gets up, removes the rug, opens the trapdoor, and climbs down the staircase for days and days and days.
He sees a long hallway. "OK, I can live with that," he says to more...

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."
She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

One night a man decides to visit his local bar. He takes a seat and orders a beer. After polishing off his beer, he beckons the bartender over and says, "Betcha $20 I can bite my eye." The bartender scoffs and accepts. The man then calmly removes his false eye and bites it. The bartender grudgingly forks over a twenty.
Later that night, after a few more beers, the man wanders back to the bar and says rather drunkenly, "Hey barkeep, betcha another $20 I can bite my other eye." Wanting to win back his money and seriously doubtful that the man has two false eyes, the bartender accepts. The man calmly removes his false teeth and bites his other eye. Scowling, the bartender hands over another twenty. The man leaves and wanders around the bar as he drinks a few more beers.
He strolls back over to the bar, leaning on it, again and calls the bartender, "Hey, barkeep," he burbles, "I'll give you a chance to win yer money back plus. Betcha $100 if you more...

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."
She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this"