Rent Jokes / Recent Jokes
A blonde decides to do something wild that she hasn't done before -- rent her first X-rated adult video. She goes to the video store and after looking around for a while, selects a title that sounds very stimulating.
She drives home, lights some candles, slips into something comfortable, and puts the tape in the VCR. To her disappointment, there's nothing but static on the screen, so she calls the video store to complain.
The blonde says, "I just rented an adult movie from you, and there's nothing on the tape but static."
The store clerk replies, "Sorry about that. We've had problems with some of those tapes. Which title did you rent?"
The blonde says, "It's called Head Cleaner."
"That bastard husband of mine wanted me to sleep with the landlord because he lost the rent money playing poker," the housewife told a neighbor." You didn't do it, did you?" "I have to admit I did -- though with certain misgivings, I might add. What I haven't done, though, is tell my husband the rent is paid up for six months!"
One evening after attending a concert, two men were walking down the road when they saw a well-dressed and attractive looking woman walking ahead of them. One of the men turned to the other and said, "I'd give 50 bucks to spend the night with her." To their surprise the woman overheard the remark. Turning round she said, "I'll take you up on that." She had good appearance and a nice body, so after bidding his companion' good night', he followed her back to her apartment and they went straight to bed. The following morning the man presented her with 25. 00. She demanded the rest of her money."If you don't give me the remaining $25 I'll sue you for it." He laughed, saying, "I'd like to see you get it on those grounds!" The next day, he was surprised to receive a summons ordering his appearance in Court as Defendant in a lawsuit. He rushed to his atorney and explained the circumstances to him. His atorney said, "She can't possibly get a more...
An Alabama man was looking for a place to live, but wasn`t having much success. Finally he came upon a farm house, figuring he had nothing to lose, he asked the farmer if he had a room for rent.
The farmer said the only place he had left was the outhouse and that he was welcome to rent it.
The man was grateful and moved in right away.
The next day the farmer saw 2 T. V. antennas on top of the outhouse and was bewildered, so he knocked on the door to ask about the extra antenna.
The man said, "Well, I sublet the basement to a guy from Louisiana."
Herewith is a compendium of movie clichés, stereotypes, obligatory scenes, hackneyed formulas, shopworn conventions and outdated archetypes. The author says that as you go to enough different movies, you start to notice things. Like how every time there's a chase scene in an exotic locale, a fruit cart gets overturned. Or how whenever the hero knocks out a Nazi sentry and puts on his uniform, the uniform is a perfect fit. Or how there are plots that would be over in five minutes, if all characters weren't idiots. Actress Inferior Position - In movie sex scenes, which are usually directed by men, the POV (Point of View) at the moment of climax is almost always the man's, so that we see the actress, not the actor, losing control. AC-WAT-NOBI Movie - A Cop With A Theory No One Believes In. Against All Odds Rule - In an apparently fatal situation from which there is no possible hope of survival, it is certain the characters will survive. In a situation where there is any apparent chance more...
One evening after attending the theatre, two gentlemen were walking down the street when they observed a well dressed, attractive young lady walking just ahead of them. One turned to the other and said, "I'd give fifty bucks to spend the night with that woman."
To their surprise the woman turned and said, "I'll take you up on that."
She had a neat appearance and a pleasant voice, so after bidding his friend goodnight, the man accompanied the lady to her apartment, where they immediately went to bed.
The following morning the man presented her with twenty-five dollars as he prepared to leave. She demanded the rest of the money, stating, "If you don't give me the other twenty-five dollars I'll sue you for it."
He laughed, saying, "I'd like to see you get it on these grounds."
The next day he was surprised when served with a summons ordering his presence in court as defendant. He hurried to his lawyer and explained the more...