Rep Jokes / Recent Jokes

A local charity realized that it had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.

"Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500, 000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?"

The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?"

Embarrassed, the charity rep mumbled, "Um... no." "--or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?"

The stricken charity rep began to stammer out an apology but was interrupted, "--or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three more...

A local United Way office realized that it had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute. "Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500, 000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?" The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?" Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um... no." "-or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?" The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology but was interrupted, "-or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?" The humiliated more...

A local United Way office realized that it had never received a donation from the town’s most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called the lawyer up.
“Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $400, 000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn’t you like to give back to the community in some way? ”
The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, “First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income? ”
Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, “Um…no. ”
“–or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair? ”
The stricken United Way rep began to stuttered an apology but was interrupted,
“–or that my sister’s husband died in a traffic accident, ” the lawyer’s voice rising in indignation, “leaving her broke with three children?! ”
The humiliated United Way more...

The local United Way office realized that it had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. A local volunteer calls to solicite his donation, saying "our research shows that even though your annual income is over a million dollars, you do not give one penny to charity! Wouldn't you like to give back to your community through The United Way?"
The lawyer thinks for a moment and says: "First, did your research show that my mother is dying after a long, painful illness and has huge medical bills far beyond her ability to pay?"
Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbles, "Uh, no."
"Secondly, that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair and is unable to support his wife and six children?"
The stricken United Way rep begins to stammer an apology but is cut off.
"Thirdly, that my sister's husband died in a dreadful traffic accident", the lawyers voice rising in more...

A local United Way office realized that it had neverreceived a donation from the towns most successful lawyer. The personin charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute."Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500, 000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldnt you like to give back to thecommunity in some way?" The lawyer mulled this over for a moment andreplied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dyingafter a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times herannual income?" Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um... no.""-or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to awheelchair?" The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out anapology but was interrupted, "-or that my sisters husband died in atraffic accident," the lawyers voice rising in indignation, "leavingher penniless with three children?" The humiliated United Way rep, more...