Reporter Jokes / Recent Jokes
A female TV reporter arranged for an interview with a farmer living just outside Cornerbrook, Newfoundland, to find the main cause of the Mad Cow Disease.
The Lady Reporter: "Good evening, sir. I am here to collect information on the possible source of Mad Cow Disease. Can you offer any reason for this disease?"
The Farmer stared at the reporter and said, "Do you know that a bull mounts a cow only once a year?"
The Lady Reporter (obviously embarrassed) said, "Well, sir, that's a new piece of information, but what's the relation between this phenomenon and Mad Cow Disease?"
The Farmer: "And, madam, do you know that we milk a cow twice a day?"
The lady reporter said, " Sir, this is really valuable information, but what about getting to the point? "
The Farmer: "I am getting to the point, madam. Just imagine, if I was playing with your tits twice a day and only screwing you once a year, wouldn't more...
E-mail Joke Quickly Ends Reporter's Job
By Howard Kurtz of the "Washington Post"
When Joe Rhodes, journalist and self-described "smart aleck," showed up at the Portland Oregonian last fall, he was asked to familiarize himself with the computer system.
The reporter, who had moved from Los Angeles to take a feature-writing job, sat down and composed a mock memo: "In an effort to make everyone at the New Oregonian feel more comfortable, members of the New Northwest team have chosen Thursdays as 'no underwear day' in the newsrooms.... All staff members will be subject to a brief inspection. Anyone found to be wearing undergarments will be severely reprimanded and forced to wear a sweater vest the following Monday. Exceptions will be made for those staff members with hernias, testicular cancer or radical mastectomies."
Rhodes then pressed a button to send the message to a friend. The message was inadvertently sent to everyone in the newsroom. more...
Reporter 1: The cult members seem totally brainwashed, and still place their blind faith in a false savior offering hollow promises of salvation!
Reporter 2: And that concludes our report from the Clinton White House.
A young English woman, Polly Martin, met and fell in love with a Yank during WWII. He was a reporter and battlefield artist attached to the military. His name was Wally Woodword and whenever there was any battlefield action Wally would make quick sketches on the front lines which he would later turn into proper drawings from which he wrote his reports. Now, Polly and her friend Susan worked for the Ministry of Defense as did many young English women and the department they worked in was one that allowed them to know a lot of interesting information - including the exact date of the Normandy Invasion. The day before the invasion Polly was telling Susan that she planned to spirit her reporter boyfriend away next day and take him on a picnic out in the country." But, you can't do that," Susan replied. "Why not?" Her friend asked." Polly, Wally doodles all D-Day!"
When visiting Argentina, Bill Clinton was offered a book by a local reporter, who does this kind of stuff. The book was Kama Sutra. Clinton looked at the cover and gave the book back.
Not-so-releable witnesses have reported that while handing the book back Clinton mumbled: "Seen that. Done that. Been there."
But the story isn't over yet. Another reporter gave Bill a saxofone. Billy boy didn't take that one either, perhaps commenting: "Sorry, I'm not into that kind of blowing anymore"
A cub reporter for a small town newspaper was sent out on his first assignment. He submitted the following report to his editor. "Mrs. Smith was injured in a car accident today. She is recovering in County Hospital with lacerations on her breasts."
The Editor scolded the new reporter, "This is a family paper. We don't use words like breasts around here. Now go back and write something more appropiate!"
The young reporter thought long and hard. Finally he handed the Editor the following report. "Mrs. Smith was injured in a car accident today. She is recovering in County Hospital with lacerations on her (. )(. ) "
Once a cub reporter was requested to write an article for a local family news paper. The reporter decided to write about Mrs. Smith's car accident. So he wrote "Mrs. Smith met with a one car accident today and is in the hospital receiving lacerations in her breasts". The editor seeing this was furious and told the cub reporter that it was a family paper and words such as "Breasts" should not be used. The reporter was asked to redo the article. This time he wrote; "Mrs. Smith met in a one car accident, and is in hospital receiving lacerations in her (.)(.)"