Reporter Jokes / Recent Jokes

The chieftain of a remote village flew to the United States to visit the president. When he arrived at the airport, a host of newsmen and television cameramen met him. One of the reporters asked the chief if he had a comfortable flight.The chief made a series of weird noises - "screech, scratch, honk, buzz, whistle, z-z-z-z-z" - and then added in perfect English, "Yes, I had a very nice flight."Another reporter asked, "Chief, do you plan to visit the Washington Monument while you're in the area?"The chief made the same noises -"screech, scratch, honk, buzz, whistle, z-z-z-z-z" - and then said, "Yes, and I also plan to visit the White House and the Capitol Building.""Where did you learn to speak such flawless English?" asked the next reporter.The chief replied, "Screech, scratch, honk, buzz, whistle, z-z-z-z-z - from the shortwave radio."

Two young boys were playing football in a park in Washington D, C, one pretty day, and as they were playing a huge Rottwieller came from no where and attacked one of the boys.
The other boy, seeing his best friend was in serious trouble, pried a board loose from a nearby bench and went to help his buddy. He took the board and put it under the collar of the dog, pried up and twisted it, breaking the dogs neck, killing him instantly.
A local newspaper reporter saw what happened and went over to interview the hero. He asked the boy if he was a football fan and was told yes, so he wrote "Redskins fan saves friend from savage dog".
The boy said, " Sorry sir, but I'm not a Redskins fan." The reporter then asked him if he was a Baltimore Ravens fan; again the boy said no.
So the reporter asked him who his favorite team was, the boy said "I really like the Dallas Cowboys sir." So the reporter wrote, " Redneck kills family pet."

A reporter cornered George W. Bush at a press conference: "Many say the only reason why you would be elected for President is due to the enormous power and influence of your father.""That notion is ridiculous!" mocked George Jr. "It doesnt matter how powerful the man is. He can only vote once!"

A guy walking on the street spots a local comedic political news reporter and asks him, "why do you make jokes about the government, it is a serious matter?"
The reporter replies, "I dont make jokes, I just watch the government and report the facts."

A car was involved in an accident in a street. As expected a large crowd gathered. A newspaper reporter, anxious to get his story could not get near the car.
Being a clever sort, he started shouting loudly, “Let me through! Let me through! I am the son of the victim. ”
The crowd made way for him.
Lying in front of the car was a donkey.

The pirate Red Beard was being interviewed by a newspaper reporter who was looking for juicy stories of excitement and derring-do. He told Red, "I'm sure my readers would love to hear the tale behind your pegleg." "Well, I was thrown from the ship during gale force winds, and before me mate could throw me a line, a shark bit me leg clean off!" The interviewer was sort of disappointed. "What about the hook at the end of your right arm?" "I lost it in a sword fight with the Captain of the Guard!" Again the reporter was disappointed. "Certainly there's an exciting story about the patch on your eye?" "One day, I was out on deck, and a bird flew over and pooped in me eye!" The reporter was amazed. "That's why you wear a patch?" "Well, I'd only had me hook a couple of days!"

A reporter when up into the hills of West Virginia to research an article about the area. He met an old man in a small town and asked him about memorable events in his life. "Well, one time my favorite sheep got lost. So me and my neighbors got some moonshine and went looking for it. We finally found the sheep. Then we drank the moonshine and wound up screwing the sheep. It was a lot of fun!" The reporter knew he couldn`t write an article about that, so he asked the old man to tell him another story. "Well, one time my neighbor`s wife got lost, so me and all the village men got some moonshine and went out looking for her. We finally found her. Then we drank the moonshine and screwed her. Now that was a lot of fun!" The frustrated reporter told the old man that he couldn`t write articles about those stories and asked him if he had any sad memories he could talk about. The old man paused, then said, "Well, one time I got lost...... "