Research Jokes / Recent Jokes

In 1993, the American Government funded a study to see why the head of a man's penis was larger than the shaft. After one year and $180, 000. 00 they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the man more pleasure during sex.

After the US published the study, the French decided to do their own study. After $250, 000. 00, and 3 years of research, they concluded that the reason was to give the woman more pleasure during sex.

Australian scientists, unsatisfied with these findings, conducted their own study. After 2 weeks and a cost of $74. 95, they concluded that it was to keep a man's hand from flying off and hitting him in the forehead.

Several years ago the United States funded a study to determine why the head on a man's penis is larger than the shaft.The study took 2 years and cost over $180,000.00. The results of the study concluded that the reason the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft was to provide the man with more pleasure during sex. After the results were published, Germany decided to conduct their own study on the same subject. They were convinced that the results of the U.S. study were incorrect. After three years of research and cost in excess of $250,000.00, they concluded that the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft to provide the women with more pleasure during sex.When the results of the German study were released, Poland decided to conduct their own study. The Poles didn't really trust the U.S. or German studies. So after nearly three weeks of intensive research and at a cost of right around $75.00, the Polish study reached a conclusion. The Polish study came to the final more...

One day while doing door-to-door market research, this guy knocks on a door and is greeted by a beautiful young housewife.

“Hello,” he starts, “I’m doing some research for a petroleum jelly manufacturer. Have you ever used the product?”

“Yes. My husband and I use it during sex,” she answers.

The researcher is taken aback. “Um, er, I admire you for your honesty,” he continues. “Can you tell me exactly how you use it?”

“Sure, we put it on the doorknob so the kids can’t get in.”

Two scientists were discussing their latest behaviour-modification research. "We've started something new," said the first scientist. "For some of our more dangerous experiments, we're now using lawyers."
"Lawyers?" questioned her colleague. "But we've always used rats."
"Well, you know how it is. You get so attached to the rats."

A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town`s most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.
"Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500, 000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn`t you like to give back to the community in some way?"
The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?"
Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um. .. no."
The lawyer interrupts, "or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?"
The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again.
"or that my sister`s husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer`s voice rising in indignation, more...

Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.

The local United Way office realized that it had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The volunteer in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute. "Our research shows that out of a yearly income of more than $600, 000 you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?"
The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?" Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um. .. No."
"Second, that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheel chair?" The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was cut off.
"Third, that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three more...