Responsible Jokes / Recent Jokes

Sally, a blonde, goes on her first camping trip. Her husband, who was a Scout Leader, was sick so she volunteered to take over for him one weekend. She got everyone together and assigned different duties to each scout.Gabby was responsible for the food supplies, Mike would be the cook this trip, Johnnie was responsible for their maps and making up a time schedule, Tim was to decide on their events, and to fit them into Johnnie's schedule and Sally would test all their equipment before setting out.They arrived at Big Moose Mountain and everyone was excited. They arrived right on schedule and were getting ready for their first event - hiking up the mountain. But first, they wanted to get something to eat. So Sally asked Mike if he would prepare the meal and, of course, Mike said he would.About 10 minutes later he came back and told Sally, "I can't make the supper. I can't light a fire with the matches you brought."Sally replied, "I don't understand! Those matches should more...

I worked as an orientation leader at Northern Illinois University this past summer. I was responsible for answering any questions any parents and students had about NIU and DeKalb, Illinois.
I also was responsible for telling parents a little about NIU and DeKalb. Well, DeKalb Illinois is the city in which barbed wire was first invented. DeKalb is also Cindy Crawford's home town.
I told the parents in my group that DeKalb was famous for Cindy Crawford and Barbed wire.
The parents responded by asking "Barb who?"

It was painfully evident to the indignant Mother that all was not well with her attractive daughter. To her pointed questions, the girl tearfully admitted that motherhood was approaching and that a close friend of the family was responsible.
With fire in her eyes, the Mother drove over to the friend's house and confronted him. The man readily admitted his guilt.
"But I have a very good reason." the soon-to-be dad said.
"I doubt that I'll ever get married and wanted an heir to leave my fortune to. If your daughter presents me with a daughter, I'll give her $500,000. If she bears me a son, I'll make it a million."
Hearing this our distraught Mother was silent for a while. Then, finally, she gave her reply. "Now see here," said the Mother, "That's totally unacceptable. If it's a miscarriage, will you at least give her another chance?"

Employer to applicant: "In this job we need someone who is responsible." Applicant: "I'm the one you want. On my last job, every timeanything went wrong, they said I was responsible."

Employer: "In this job we need someone who is responsible."Applicant: "I'm the one you want. On my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."

Employer to applicant: "In this job we need someone who is responsible."

Applicant: "I'm the one you want. On my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."

Two weeks after Paisley's transfer into the promotion department, his old boss got a phone call. "You told me Paisley was a responsible worker!" yelled the furious head of promotion.

"Oh, he is." she confirmed. "In the year he worked in my department the computer went down five times and had to be completely reprogrammed, the petty cash got misplaced six times, and I developed an ulcer. And each time, Paisley was responsible.