Reunion Jokes

You know your a redneck if u go to a family renuion looking for a girlfriend

"Old" is when...
...your sweetie says, "Lets go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Honey, I can't do both!"
...your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're
barefoot.
...a sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage
door nearest your car.
...you remember when the Dead Sea was only sick.
...going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
...you don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't
have to go along.
...when it takes longer to rest than to get tired.
...when you are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the
police.
..."getting a little action" means I don't need to take any fiber today.
..."getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot.
... an "all nighter" means not getting up to pee!
Statistics show that at the age of seventy, there are five women to
every more...

Old is when... your sweetie says, "Lets go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Honey, I can't do both!"...your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you'rebarefoot....a sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garagedoor nearest your car....you remember when the Dead Sea was only sick....going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face....you don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don'thave to go along....when it takes longer to rest than to get tired....when you are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by thepolice...."getting a little action" means I don't need to take any fiber today...."getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot... an "all nighter" means not getting up to pee! Statistics show that at the age of seventy, there are five women toevery man. Isn't that an ironic time for a guy to get those odds? Someone has described heaven as a more...

A guy goes to his high school class reunion. Having not seen anyone in twenty-five years he's very curious as to who might show up.
When he gets there he runs into his old high school sweetheart. They sit down and talk about the past.
"How have you been?" he asks.
"I've been fine, just fine," she replies, "Although I do have some good news and a little bad news, though."
"Bad news first, please."
"Well, a few weeks ago I had to have a hysterectomy."
"Oh my, that's too bad. I'm sorry to hear that."
"But the good news is the doctor found your old high school class ring you thought you lost!"

Jack hadn't been to a school reunion in decades.
When he walked in, Jack thought he recognised a woman over in the corner, so he approached her and extended his hand in greeting.
"You look like Helen Brown," he remarked.
"Well", replied the angry woman, "you don't look so great in blue either!"