Revenue Jokes / Recent Jokes
Department of the Treasury Internal Revenue Service Washington, D. C. To: All Male Taxpayers RE: Notice of increase of tax payment Form 1040 - P The only thing that the IRS has not taxed yet is your penis. This is due to the fact that 40% of the time it is hanging around unemployed, 30% of the time it is pissed off, 20% of the time it is hard up, and 10% of the time it is in the hole. On top of this, it has two dependents and both are nuts. Accordingly, as of April 1, 1998, your penis will be taxed according to size. To determine your category, please consult the chart below and confirm this informatin on page 2, section 7, line 3, on the Standard Form 1040. 10-16 inches Luxury Tax $50. 00 8-10 inches Pole Tax $30. 00 5-8 inches Privilege Tax $15. 00 4-5 inches Nuisance Tax $5. 00 Please note: Anyone under 4 inches is eligible for a refund. Please do not ask for an extension!!!!!! Additionally, males exceeding 12 inches must file under Capital Gains. Sincerely, Peter Checker Internal more...
If Microsoft Ran The IRS “Government should be run like a business. ” We’ve all heard that chestnut. Here is how the Internal Revenue Service (nobody’s favorite government agency) would be like, if only it were run like Microsoft Corp. (a successful private enterprise).
- The IRS, as always, announces new tax forms will be mailed the week before the new year. However it will follow Microsoft’s example and actually ship them the following May.
- Responding to pressure from some large corporations and a users’ group, some early copies of the tax forms will actually be released in March. The recipients must sign non-disclosure agreements.
- In June, the forms will be recalled because the IRS loses a suit for appropriating some other country’s intellectual property.
- When you move, the IRS will continue to send mail to your previous address forevermore, just like Microsoft sends its product upgrade notices.
- When you upgrade from form 1040 EZ to more...
A man called to testify at the Revenue Canada, (Canada's IRS) asked his accountant for advice on what to wear. "Wear your shabbiest clothing. Let him think you are a pauper," the accountant replied. Then he asked his lawyer the same question, but got the opposite advice. "Do not let them intimidate you. Wear your most elegant suit and tie." Confused, the man went to his Priest, told him of the conflicting advice, and requested some resolution of the dilemma." Let me tell you a story," replied the Priest. "A woman, about to be married, asked her mother what to wear on her wedding night.' Wear a heavy, long, flannel nightgown that goes right up to your neck.' But when she asked her best friend, she got conflicting advice. Wear your most sexy negligee, with a V neck right down to your navel." The man protested: "What does all this have to do with my problem with the Revenue Canada?!""Simple", replied the Priest..."It more...
TOP TEN REASONS WHY COREL LOST $32 MILLION
'Analysts say the discrepancy resulted from a lack of sales through resellers to end users'--that's the official reason Corel lost $32 million in the third quarter. Sounds like a cover-up to us. Herewith, the *real* reasons for the revenue shortfall:
10. Hot air for the Corel blimp
9. Still waiting for Sun and Netscape to come through on the Office for Java deal
8. Fuel cost write-off for Dr. Cowpland's Lamborghini
7. New Canadian hockey tax really takes a bite
6. Photo CD' The Statuary of Flint, Michigan' never generated anticipated revenue
5. Started their Macintosh product division too late
4. Shipping costs of massive Corel Office Suite much higher than expected
3. Corel C++ for Java for Windows
2. CFO did the financial statement in CorelDraw...
1.. ..and designed the annual report in Quattro Pro
If Microsoft Ran The IRS "Government should be run like a business." We've all heard that chestnut. Here is how the Internal Revenue Service (nobody's favorite government agency) would be like, if only it were run like Microsoft Corp. (a successful private enterprise). - The IRS, as always, announces new tax forms will be mailed the week before the new year. However it will follow Microsoft's example and actually ship them the following May. - Responding to pressure from some large corporations and a users' group, some early copies of the tax forms will actually be released in March. The recipients must sign non-disclosure agreements. - In June, the forms will be recalled because the IRS loses a suit for appropriating some other country's intellectual property. - When you move, the IRS will continue to send mail to your previous address forevermore, just like Microsoft sends its product upgrade notices. - When you upgrade from form 1040 EZ to 1040 A, and then to 1040, you more...